[He smiles, warm and really honestly feeling some weird mix of emotions he's not going to work through right now. They're here. Together. Again, for Gaku, but... it's better this time. And he'll be able to protect both of them, he's sure of it.
He draws his hand away from Ryuu's back and laughs lightly.]
You sure?
[Not that he's waiting for an answer before he buries his fingers in Ryuu's hair between the ears, then pets one with a long, firm stroke.]
[ it feels really nice, after all, the movement and pressure along new nerves. he likes having his hair touched anyway, but the ears really elevate the sensation. he just hasn't really trusted himself in this state to go and ask for someone to pet them...
unable to help it, he headbutts into gaku's palm, inviting another stroke along the fur. ]
[Well, invitation accepted! Gaku raises his other hand and begins to stroke over both of Ryuu's new ears. The guy's acting like such a dog, and it's too cute. Somehow it really is cute instead of weird... which in and of itself is weird, but Gaku is also Sanguis and really just likes sharing this moment with him because of that.]
[ usually his affectionate nature isn't met so kindly, so he's making a mile out of this inch he's been given. and that much is pretty indulgent, even for him, but now that he's here and being touched, it's like he can't get enough of it. his smile pulls warmly at his mouth at gaku's offer, at the heat of his blush. ]
Okay, here I go.
[ in contrast to gaku's blatant plop of his hand atop his head, ryuu actually goes for the fringe along the side of his face first, giving the moonlit strands a little rake before sliding his fingers up to scratch at the base of one of gaku's ears.
[Oh, the way Ryuu runs his hand through his hair first, then just hits a very nice spot on Gaku's wolf ear... The guy doesn't manage to suppress a shiver. It's a nice shiver, but maybe that feels a little too good.]
[ neither does ryuu, really. he just runs on instinct, though that aspect of him a little sharper now than it usually is. he laughs a little at the shiver, thumb sliding along the inside of that wolf ear, up towards the soft, cool tip. ]
Sorry, sorry! Did I get carried away?
[ he hasn't backed off, but he's too elated with the moment to not keep leaning into it. ]
[Gaku lets out a breathy laugh, reaching for Ryuu's ears again, now with both hands. He runs his thumbs over them somewhat firmly, then strokes them in a manner he thinks he would find satisfying if someone were doing it to him.]
It does, doesn't it? If I'd gotten used to Sanguis like this first...
[ maybe he wouldn't have feared it so much.
he's not really practicing restraint right now, he knows, pushing himself further into gaku's hands. but it's so hard to hold back when there's so much happening - he's missed him, the moon's red like the pulse thrumming just beneath his skin. his scent is incredible, like his warmth. there's so much about this moment and the other man he wants to grasp to and not let go of.
with a rub of his fingers over gaku's ear, his touch wanders down, brushing fondly over crown, shoulders, the length of his back, until ryuu reaches his waist. with a tilt forward, ryuu wraps his arms around him in a proper hug, thumbs brushing close to that tail of his. ]
[Gaku feared himself like this, honestly, how heightened all his senses were, how much he felt the need to bite and tear and... other things. But Ryuu was kind and soothing, so he felt a little less terrible like this.
He's pulled into the embrace, and he's warm and comfortable in it, easing his own arms fully around Ryuu and pulling him closer.]
Careful... with the tail. I'm kinda sensitive.
[As in, he's going to get a total and complete boner if you keep messing with the base of his tail, Ryuu, so tread lightly.]
Yeah. It's hard to get used to somewhere so new being touched right away. I've been through this a couple times, even. [ ryuu buries a laugh on him and it's a little shaken up in his chest, like it's fighting with his heartbeat. ] And it's still that way.
[ though he says so, ryuu doesn't pull away. ryuu is kind-hearted, but sanguis is possessive and territorial. because it's gaku, ryuu feels all the more drawn to him, he's sure. his fingers smooth downwards still, one hand braced on his lower back, the other moving into the fur of his tail. ]
But I still don't want to stop, you know...?
[ but he does pause, as if waiting to see what gaku wants. ]
[He is still standing here and Ryuu still has hands on him and now he's mirroring Ryuu's touches like a complete idiot because if they feel good for him, surely they'll feel good for Ryuu, too. That need to please him because he wants to keep him close is real, both at odds with and accompanying the need to outdo him, to maintain some kind of dominance. He shivers slightly as Ryuu laughs against his body, fingers tensing in the fluff at the base of Ryuu's tail.
He's breathless, and he hates it. But he loves the way this feels.]
Don't. Don't stop, Ryuu. It feels really good, after all... I kinda want to keep touching you, too.
I'd like to think so! [ he can keep that boyish air about him even when his grip is heated and strong against gaku's back. ] If you think it feels good, then I'm happy with that.
[ even if his moonblessing always makes him want more. in gaku's presence, the persistent idea of teeth and claws is more exciting than it is daunting. maybe he feels safer here? no, he's sure he feels that way.
there's a sort of rumble in his voice that's caressing across the surface of what's happening here, upsetting the tension in a pleasant way. there's deeper water here, if he were to really look into it, but he isn't. he's still got them pressed together at the hip, tail swaying into the touch, ears relaxed atop his head. ]
I haven't changed my mind, either. Touch as much as you want, Gaku.
[How Ryuu isn't going completely insane like Gaku fears he's about to is a mystery to the idol. He wants so badly to claw or bite or do anything more than this, but he's contenting himself with merely running increasingly frantic fingers through what he can reach of Ryuu's tail. He feels his own mind and body sinking into some depths, knows there's a breathiness to his tone that shouldn't be there, but he's still just trying to focus on touching Ryuu.
Touching Ryuu.
He's touching Ryuu. Not rudely or crudely, but not like they normally might. This is going beyond skinship or fanservice and he knows it, whether Ryuu is registering it or not. But damn him, that offer. Touch. As much as he wants.
One hand leaves the tail and travels back up to the back of Ryuu's head, and Gaku leans in, holding Ryuu gently by the hair, to inhale deeply. Everything has a smell when he's like this, a unique scent he can't really always place. Ryuu smells like salt air, though, the sea in his arms, and before he registers what he's doing he's already pressing his lips to the side of Ryuu's neck.]
[ it's always been on him to be the steady one, hasn't it? to gaku's flawlessness, tenn's professionalism. the anchor, the calm, ceaseless pull of his halcyon thoughts that not even time apart changes. only the moon changes those, like the sea, and here, it's no different. only where he stands now feels different. rather than the listless drift he'd felt when he was on his own, gaku reorients him and shows him where he ought to be standing. it's why he feels like he won't spin too far out of control, even like this - even when his heart swings up into the hollow of his throat at gaku's advance.
it's stunning, to have gaku's lips on him, his fingers in his hair. not because it surprises him, but because it doesn't. like he's thought about it before, or like he's waited for something like it. gaku's one of the warmest people he knows, so to feel him breaking that heat of his on him... his breath stutters and his fingers claw to keep him close, raking over the small of his back, into the muscle of his ass.
he's not really thinking about where he's grabbing. just that he wants to be closer. his heel slips back, and he's tugging, pulling gaku with him while baring his throat for more of his lips to find. ]
- ah... [ his throat thuds, and he laughs a bit. ] Like that. Anywhere, Gaku. I mean it.
[Funny, that the world thinks Gaku is cold, when right now he feels like he might burst into flames at any moment. It's Ryuu's warmth he can't handle, can't get enough of, a warmth that seeps in at his hands and through his lips as he continues to press lingering kisses to Ryuu's neck and throat. He feels the man's balance shift and he goes with it, because they've danced together for long enough that he can read the motion and follow through.
Only he keeps going. He urges Ryuu back until his shoulders hit the wall, and the little jolt from it pulls him away. He blinks at his friend, his companion, sliding his hand from behind Ryuu's head to the back of his neck. It might be better to ask than to act, but there was that blanket permission given.
Anywhere. So, wanting to taste Ryuu again, needing to know if the warmth extends to every part of him, Gaku leans in and captures his lips with a sweet, searing kiss. Maybe it should feel strange, especially for Gaku who protests and protests that he won't cross lines again. It doesn't. It feels right. It feels like the two of them were meant to do this, and at the same time Gaku feels like he's caught a helpless creature in his grasp that he refuses to let go.
He's not sure when he stopped breathing, but after a few moments of calmly moving his lips against Ryuu's, he breaks away with a sigh. His fingers drag back up to one of those soft, fluffy ears, and he uses the touch to ground himself as he presses his forehead to Ryuu's shoulder.]
When I get like this, I can't stop. I feel like I could rip somebody apart and still not be satisfied.
[ between gaku and the wall, ryuu's tail gives a large, wide lash behind him. there's something more thoughtful to the movement than agitated, though his blood is flying high in his veins, so very close to the surface of his skin. he's already breathless with want, huffing into the spaces left behind by the feel of gaku's lips on his own. his mouth's burning; his teeth ache. he gets it. he's not spending a single second wondering if there's repercussions to this - any step they take over any line, ryuu can do so confidently, if it's with this man. it's right, after everything they've been through.
time felt a little yawning without him, his presence all the sharper now for his absence. the lull in the moment marked by gaku leaning on him has one of ryuu's arms lifting and tightening around his waist. he tugs and he presses, restless, because it's so close and somehow not nearly close enough. ]
It's okay. [ his ears twitch atop his head, and he shifts his face aside to bury his nose in gaku's hair. ] I can take it.
[ he nuzzles into the base of one of his ears and inhales. it's an earnest gesture, all too inviting in the way it's meant to reassure gaku of the strength he possesses. gaku's scent is so strong it clenches at his lungs, makes his heartbeat pace like an animal in a cage.
he can nearly taste the tang of his arousal in the air. ]
[No. No Ryuu can't... just assert that when Gaku feels like he's going to lose the last shred of control in his body! Those hands are too big, too warm, too bracing, and those arms are too perfect for enveloping someone, and Gaku feels the last of his inhibitions fall away the like changing autumn leaves.
It feels empty, not being close to Ryuu, and it feels right being this close. There was never a question. Ryuu is dear and loved and his friend and comrade and now he's going to be someone Gaku can turn to for this, too. For the need to fall apart.
He aggressively presses in, hips flush with Ryuu's, his arousal obvious in more than just the air between them. In the lack of space there, Gaku's intentions and problems are laid bare, and he doesn't give one royal fuck about it. Because Ryuu is here, and if Ryuu is here, it'll be fine. Together, they can do so, so much.
He won't lose himself this time, he vows, he won't hurt anyone or regret anything. But he will believe Ryuu and believe in him when he says he doesn't have to hold back. A low, guttural sound like a growl rises up in Gaku, and he grinds his hips against Ryuu with purpose, making a statement. Ryuu smells like home and comfort and TRIGGER and now he smells like lust to Gaku, something maybe the poor man is inventing in his growing haze.
Pulling his head back, he looks into Ryuu's eyes before one hand tangles properly in soft brown hair and the other skims down to grip at Ryuu's backside, pulling him close, too.]
I don't think I've ever wanted anything the way I want you right now, Ryuu. You said you can take it? [A sharp inhale, as Gaku takes in his scent again.] I'll count on that.
[ eyes like that could pierce a heart straight through. ryuu still catches that fierce look and holds it for all that he's worth, gold on silver. gaku is overwhelming like this, all steely angles and pale incandescence... but he knows, ryuu knows something of this nature can't be easy for gaku to take, even when he's offered. he's one of the kindest men he knows, one of the most honorable. every time he's lost his temper, he's never lost who he is because of it.
so even if it's with him, ryuu doesn't want him to feel like he'll ever have to betray that. no matter how much he's burning or how crazy his desires get. his pulse spikes at those words, at what's going to happen here, but ryuu's talent also lies in his voice, his control over his body.
color has crawled up his neck, draped across the crests of his cheeks, but he hasn't shied back. maybe this is what it would be like, if his image matched his personality... ]
I want you too. [ god, does he ever. some things may be different, but his heart is much the same. ] Trust me.
[ trust him to arch his back off the wall at the touch of gaku's hand pressing on him, legs parting to accept one of gaku's thighs between them. it's a much more intense angle to grind down on him at, to take his display in full. of course, ryuu has his own pride. he won't just roll over and show his belly either.
especially because the heat and hardness now welling beneath his pants isn't negligible.
if it takes some of the strain of the encounter off gaku, ryuu will make the first move - he ducks at him, ears pinning back as he goes for his mouth, that sharp tongue of his, with something that's half a kiss and half a bite. ]
[Gaku losing himself to Sanguis isn't ideal; it half terrifies him, completely frustrates him, and makes him wish he could find a way to control everything. But controlling himself slips from his mind when he locks gaze with Ryuu, holds it, soaks him up, drinks him in. He'll trust Ryuu with this secret side and hope he never shows it to anyone else again. If he has to lock himself up in his apartment for half a week, he sure will. Anything to make this easier.
Still. Ryuu looks... delightful. Delicious. Gaku thinks he might lose the battle with self control early on here, and give in to these wild urges. But... if it's with Ryuu, it's not so bad. It's good, in fact, because the man is solid and sturdy and reliable and trustworthy and he'd probably look incredibly good on his knees--that last part ushers in a rush of other, primal thoughts, leaving Gaku faintly growling. His own cheeks are touched with color, and his eyes seem darker, the catlike pupils dilated like a beast about to pounce.
Were they always like this? On the verge of something wild and beautiful and dangerous? Or is that something Gaku's feral brain is concocting because he's been in a place where he's seen Ryuu subjugated and Tenn beaten, a place that made him so fiercely protective of them that he was sure, absolutely sure he'd die for them? Was that utter sense of hopelessness what drove him to realize just how much he loves them both? It's served him well, because since he arrived here, he's done nothing but seize every opportunity to move TRIGGER forward, and now maybe he'll take the same approach to showing Ryuu every side of him, every secret. Because Gaku losing himself to anything other than a cause is sinful enough to make him want to hide.
Yet here he is, shoving a leg between Ryuu's, the two of them hard and wanting and openly admitting it like it's never needed to be a secret to begin with. The softness they usually show each other is gone and replaced with fire he wouldn't dream of dousing. And when Ryuu bites at his lips, demands the kiss, Gaku gives so freely that he's left feeling like this is the most natural and normal thing they could possibly do.
He rolls his hips, grinding against Ryuu as he bites back at him, tongue seeking entry and not taking no for an answer. There's a power struggle to be had here, but even if Ryuu is bigger and stronger than Gaku, the silver-haired man won't be the prey today. He's decided that much. He's already imagining the arch of Ryuu's back and the way his face will twist up with pleasure and he can only hope Ryuu's going to pursue this in the way he wants.
His hands roam to Ryuu's waist, quickly unfastening his pants and pushing them down just enough that he can slide his hands inside them and against the skin of Ryuu's backside, gripping the lean muscle there. It may mean Ryuu's exposed now, but that's fine by Gaku. He'd prefer a little more skin contact anyway. One hand claws up Ryuu's back, leaving red marks that won't go away for a blissful while.]
I'm glad. [It's sincere, but growled and followed by him moving that upper hand again and wrapping it around the back of Ryuu's neck, guiding the angle of the kiss, the depth. A sure assertion of dominance.]
[ if anything were left up to ryuu, he'd be pouring his heart out all over gaku without any fear at all. there have always been reasons that he can't, couldn't. trust had never been lacking, for his part, and those reasons have lessened now thanks to a mistake that was designed to take his gentle heart to the slaughter. but if gaku was TRIGGER's sword arm, then ryuu was its shield - and that same heart of his has never gotten tired of it.
and as carried away as he sometimes gets with his love, he's never broken it down, piecemeal, to matters of the body or matters of the heart. it's all the same to him - his heart's hammering so hard he feels it in the hollows of his teeth as they kiss. he came here because he wanted to see him, because ryuu has never liked to imagine life without him and yet he'd had to swallow down a month of it in this place with these incredibly powerful changes, these fierce urges he'd had a hard time trusting himself with. that this is so easy now that gaku's here is something he wants to share, more than anything. ryuu needs him, and the fiery moon overhead just gives his foolish bravery a new spin, a new kind of gravity.
that fire ryuu will fight to make his own comes billowing out in a heated noise against gaku's mouth, a rich growl softened by the way his tongue slides over the other man's. he draws him in with a potent suck, deepening the kiss. he can go on and on before getting breathless enough to break it. his lung capacity affords him that stamina.
with gaku's hands straying low, so low, already down into his pants to get at the tense skin underneath, exposing as much as he's touching, his grip rises. they have that seamless balance to them still, that physical instinct that makes them so successful on stage. it feels as natural as that. arms bent between them, ryuu reaches possessively for gaku's jaw, hands slipping upwards until the heels of his palm catch on his cheeks, fingertips grazing into those beautiful silvery strands at his temples.
the unthinkable act of leaving him marked up just lends weight to his presence.
his tail swipes the wall and ryuu meets gaku's feverish grinding with a roll of his whole lower body, the move like something out of a dance, fluid and sure. he drags as much of himself against gaku as he can, expressiveness coming through with his body more than his words. he's so keyed up it's dizzying, hardness trapped between them as he finally breaks their kisses with a noisy breath, teeth poised at this mouth like it's not enough.
the smell alone is totally inside his head, like his pulse has a color, a shape he can bite into. ]
Gaku...
[ he breathes his name, taking a nip at his chin. ah, his throat's so close... ]
[Ryuu doesn't need to fear telling or showing his feelings to Gaku. He'll understand. In the last hell he was in, he accepted his love for his bandmates and would've given his honest life if it came to it. Hearing any of that returned is a sound sweeter than their harmonies (though not by much, in his esteem--he loves TRIGGER the most). He would devour Ryuu's affection, make it part and parcel of himself, an inseparable part of his very soul. A man could live forever on such love.
As it is, he'll subsist on whatever is freely and comfortably given, never demanding more, never expecting it. But when he says he loves TRIGGER he means he loves Tenn and Ryuu just as much. Not that that is anywhere near his mind right now, when there are teeth and tongues and hard bodies involved, pressed and moving like the rhythms of their songs. This is a different kind of harmony, and one Gaku won't shy away from.
Ryuu's the one to break away, and Gaku's chest heaves, although he doesn't seem to be anything but hotly placid. He sees where Ryuu's movements are going. And he welcomes the attention.]
Take what you want, Ryuu. [Firm. Hot like the friction Gaku creates when he moves with Ryuu. Quiet and true, an offer and an expectation and maybe even a challenge.] I know I'm going to.
[His hand at Ryuu's neck slides back down, slipping between them to run up his chest instead, curved fingers finding a nipple to worry at while Gaku invitingly tips his chin up and growls softly.]
You know how much I need this. I need you, Ryuu. So do it.
[ anticipation ticks in his chest at a promise like that. with gaku, it can't be anything but one - truly, he's a fearsome man. ]
Letting me go first, huh...
[ but he's still just gaku. his friend, groupmate, a loved one. no matter how fearsome, ryuu would never back down from him or deny him anything even if it meant indulging, if it meant letting that heat he feels overtake him long enough to burn up his inhibitions. but ryuu's more fiery than he lets on too, which is why his fingers tighten in response, digging into gaku's hair and tipping his head back to let his palms cradle it. it's a gentle gesture masked in a strong touch. his ears stand straight as he leans in low, nose brushing the elegant column of his neck, lashes fluttering sharply.
there's a flash in his mind before he does it that he has to inhale away, teeth snapping down on that pale skin. and it's a bite - it's not just the skin he's after, but the muscle underneath. his jaw flexes, teeth tightening until he feels that give, that wet, metallic crush.
it's like there's not a single thought in his mind other than gaku's challenge, the sharp scent that floods his nose because of it. ]
[Maybe he's too accustomed to a different type of bite, but this one takes Gaku by surprise. His breath catches--stops, he swears--and he feels his entire body tense, pressing against Ryuu and fairly clinging. The pain is incredible, honestly, near ripping rather than a sharp prick or a scrape. In this moment he faintly entertains the idea of Ryuu tearing him apart, and it's not completely unpleasant at first blush. What a way to go. But eventually his fight or flight response kicks in, and he wraps fingers around Ryuu's throat, a thumb easing against his jaw to coax him to let go eventually.
And when he does, Gaku snaps. He wrenches Ryuu away from the wall by the front of his shirt and by the grip at his neck, shifting it to his nape and using strength he honestly didn't know he had to force Ryuu to the floor in the center of the living room. Gaku faintly registers the coffee table being scooted back several inches as he descends on Ryuu, clawed fingers ripping into the back of his shirt. He tears the fabric out of the way, gripping Ryuu's tail in his other hand, and leans down over him, breath heavy. There's something trickling over his throat, and he smells blood. His own.
Growling, he leans forward, mindlessly baring his own sharp canines and bringing them to bear on the other man's shoulder. He scrapes once, licks, then bites down just as hard as he was bitten. And now he gets why Ryuu did it. It's so satisfying to let the instincts take over. He could never do this as an idol.
But right now, who's the beast? Certainly not just Ryuu. It's no less erotic than advertised, though.]
[ even with gaku's blood in his teeth, ryuu wonders if that mantle was ever truly his. gaku's always been the one with fangs and fire, tearing open paths and lighting the way for them. ryuu would follow him to hell and back - maybe he's proving that right now, on his knees and seeing stars at how quickly gaku flipped their positions. all he can hear is his deep breathing, the scrape of the coffee table and several items clattering off of it faint and murky in his ears.
he's completely overwhelming like this. the scent of his blood, his heat in the air. ryuu can't even swallow back the taste of gaku's skin before his teeth plunge into his shoulder. his body hitches with a gasp and he shudders with his next exhale, riding the sensation out. his ears pin back and his tail thrashes in gaku's grasp, back bowing.
the pain blossoms soon afterwards, all heady adrenaline. his stomach trembles when he breathes out again, soft growls sounding through his panting. he tilts his shoulder against the grip, overt in the way he's seeing if gaku will bite down on him harder. he can feel it... gaku is still gaku. there's so much he was holding back. ryuu wants him to break it all on him, and only him - he's not even considering how wildly selfish that is of him when all he can think about is having those teeth driven into him again, all over, staking their claim.
that want sharpens until he's forgetting everything else but the touch of the man behind him. ryuu chances jarring gaku's mouth by shifting back and grinding against him again. ]
[Gaku's hips brush Ryuu's body as he clamps down into the bite, breath steadying for a few moments. He thinks he'll get past it, like this. That this will be enough to make him feel satisfied, that the primal urges will go away. But the longer he tastes blood and flesh, the wilder his mind reels. A second bite, deeper than the first, follows, delving into muscle at the edge of Ryuu's neck. A third bite thereafter, back to the shoulder, and Gaku can feel his heart pounding and his chest heaving and his body thrumming because Ryuu's letting him do this.
He doesn't notice the grinding right away, much in the way that he doesn't notice himself returning it, hips working slow but frantic, the press too much to normally be suitable. He's not going to let this end with a little basic rutting, like they were against the wall. He's clawing at Ryuu's clothing as soon as he lets go of his tail, a hand at the back of Ryuu's neck, keeping him half pinned. Gaku's solid frame is doing the rest of the work.
His teeth sink back into Ryuu's shoulder, mainly because he can't get enough of the adrenaline that flows through him every time skin gives way and that metallic taste touches his tongue. The frantic way he bites at every inch of Ryuu's back that he can find purchase on speaks to his desperation, and the places that can't be bitten are lapped at generously, sucked on to bruising. Tomorrow, Ryuu's going to look like hell. And it'll be Gaku's fault. He'll have turned the gorgeous, sun-drenched model into something he can't show the public eye.
There's deep, deep satisfaction in claiming Ryuu like this, in marking him in ways Gaku could only dream of with anyone else. In making him unfit for anyone else to see. In taking and taking, selfish and indulgent, mindless and erratic.]
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He draws his hand away from Ryuu's back and laughs lightly.]
You sure?
[Not that he's waiting for an answer before he buries his fingers in Ryuu's hair between the ears, then pets one with a long, firm stroke.]
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[ it feels really nice, after all, the movement and pressure along new nerves. he likes having his hair touched anyway, but the ears really elevate the sensation. he just hasn't really trusted himself in this state to go and ask for someone to pet them...
unable to help it, he headbutts into gaku's palm, inviting another stroke along the fur. ]
The insides are the fluffiest part.
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Yeah, they're super soft...
[His cheeks go a little pink.]
Try mine.
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Okay, here I go.
[ in contrast to gaku's blatant plop of his hand atop his head, ryuu actually goes for the fringe along the side of his face first, giving the moonlit strands a little rake before sliding his fingers up to scratch at the base of one of gaku's ears.
he's really beaming by now. ]
I thought so. They're amazing too.
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Careful... You're gonna set me off.
[He doesn't realize how that sounds.]
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Sorry, sorry! Did I get carried away?
[ he hasn't backed off, but he's too elated with the moment to not keep leaning into it. ]
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[Gaku lets out a breathy laugh, reaching for Ryuu's ears again, now with both hands. He runs his thumbs over them somewhat firmly, then strokes them in a manner he thinks he would find satisfying if someone were doing it to him.]
It's weird. It actually feels really good...
[Really good.]
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[ maybe he wouldn't have feared it so much.
he's not really practicing restraint right now, he knows, pushing himself further into gaku's hands. but it's so hard to hold back when there's so much happening - he's missed him, the moon's red like the pulse thrumming just beneath his skin. his scent is incredible, like his warmth. there's so much about this moment and the other man he wants to grasp to and not let go of.
with a rub of his fingers over gaku's ear, his touch wanders down, brushing fondly over crown, shoulders, the length of his back, until ryuu reaches his waist. with a tilt forward, ryuu wraps his arms around him in a proper hug, thumbs brushing close to that tail of his. ]
How's that?
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[Gaku feared himself like this, honestly, how heightened all his senses were, how much he felt the need to bite and tear and... other things. But Ryuu was kind and soothing, so he felt a little less terrible like this.
He's pulled into the embrace, and he's warm and comfortable in it, easing his own arms fully around Ryuu and pulling him closer.]
Careful... with the tail. I'm kinda sensitive.
[As in, he's going to get a total and complete boner if you keep messing with the base of his tail, Ryuu, so tread lightly.]
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[ though he says so, ryuu doesn't pull away. ryuu is kind-hearted, but sanguis is possessive and territorial. because it's gaku, ryuu feels all the more drawn to him, he's sure. his fingers smooth downwards still, one hand braced on his lower back, the other moving into the fur of his tail. ]
But I still don't want to stop, you know...?
[ but he does pause, as if waiting to see what gaku wants. ]
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[He is still standing here and Ryuu still has hands on him and now he's mirroring Ryuu's touches like a complete idiot because if they feel good for him, surely they'll feel good for Ryuu, too. That need to please him because he wants to keep him close is real, both at odds with and accompanying the need to outdo him, to maintain some kind of dominance. He shivers slightly as Ryuu laughs against his body, fingers tensing in the fluff at the base of Ryuu's tail.
He's breathless, and he hates it. But he loves the way this feels.]
Don't. Don't stop, Ryuu. It feels really good, after all... I kinda want to keep touching you, too.
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[ even if his moonblessing always makes him want more. in gaku's presence, the persistent idea of teeth and claws is more exciting than it is daunting. maybe he feels safer here? no, he's sure he feels that way.
there's a sort of rumble in his voice that's caressing across the surface of what's happening here, upsetting the tension in a pleasant way. there's deeper water here, if he were to really look into it, but he isn't. he's still got them pressed together at the hip, tail swaying into the touch, ears relaxed atop his head. ]
I haven't changed my mind, either. Touch as much as you want, Gaku.
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[How Ryuu isn't going completely insane like Gaku fears he's about to is a mystery to the idol. He wants so badly to claw or bite or do anything more than this, but he's contenting himself with merely running increasingly frantic fingers through what he can reach of Ryuu's tail. He feels his own mind and body sinking into some depths, knows there's a breathiness to his tone that shouldn't be there, but he's still just trying to focus on touching Ryuu.
Touching Ryuu.
He's touching Ryuu. Not rudely or crudely, but not like they normally might. This is going beyond skinship or fanservice and he knows it, whether Ryuu is registering it or not. But damn him, that offer. Touch. As much as he wants.
One hand leaves the tail and travels back up to the back of Ryuu's head, and Gaku leans in, holding Ryuu gently by the hair, to inhale deeply. Everything has a smell when he's like this, a unique scent he can't really always place. Ryuu smells like salt air, though, the sea in his arms, and before he registers what he's doing he's already pressing his lips to the side of Ryuu's neck.]
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it's stunning, to have gaku's lips on him, his fingers in his hair. not because it surprises him, but because it doesn't. like he's thought about it before, or like he's waited for something like it. gaku's one of the warmest people he knows, so to feel him breaking that heat of his on him... his breath stutters and his fingers claw to keep him close, raking over the small of his back, into the muscle of his ass.
he's not really thinking about where he's grabbing. just that he wants to be closer. his heel slips back, and he's tugging, pulling gaku with him while baring his throat for more of his lips to find. ]
- ah... [ his throat thuds, and he laughs a bit. ] Like that. Anywhere, Gaku. I mean it.
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Only he keeps going. He urges Ryuu back until his shoulders hit the wall, and the little jolt from it pulls him away. He blinks at his friend, his companion, sliding his hand from behind Ryuu's head to the back of his neck. It might be better to ask than to act, but there was that blanket permission given.
Anywhere. So, wanting to taste Ryuu again, needing to know if the warmth extends to every part of him, Gaku leans in and captures his lips with a sweet, searing kiss. Maybe it should feel strange, especially for Gaku who protests and protests that he won't cross lines again. It doesn't. It feels right. It feels like the two of them were meant to do this, and at the same time Gaku feels like he's caught a helpless creature in his grasp that he refuses to let go.
He's not sure when he stopped breathing, but after a few moments of calmly moving his lips against Ryuu's, he breaks away with a sigh. His fingers drag back up to one of those soft, fluffy ears, and he uses the touch to ground himself as he presses his forehead to Ryuu's shoulder.]
When I get like this, I can't stop. I feel like I could rip somebody apart and still not be satisfied.
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time felt a little yawning without him, his presence all the sharper now for his absence. the lull in the moment marked by gaku leaning on him has one of ryuu's arms lifting and tightening around his waist. he tugs and he presses, restless, because it's so close and somehow not nearly close enough. ]
It's okay. [ his ears twitch atop his head, and he shifts his face aside to bury his nose in gaku's hair. ] I can take it.
[ he nuzzles into the base of one of his ears and inhales. it's an earnest gesture, all too inviting in the way it's meant to reassure gaku of the strength he possesses. gaku's scent is so strong it clenches at his lungs, makes his heartbeat pace like an animal in a cage.
he can nearly taste the tang of his arousal in the air. ]
You don't have to hold back with me.
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It feels empty, not being close to Ryuu, and it feels right being this close. There was never a question. Ryuu is dear and loved and his friend and comrade and now he's going to be someone Gaku can turn to for this, too. For the need to fall apart.
He aggressively presses in, hips flush with Ryuu's, his arousal obvious in more than just the air between them. In the lack of space there, Gaku's intentions and problems are laid bare, and he doesn't give one royal fuck about it. Because Ryuu is here, and if Ryuu is here, it'll be fine. Together, they can do so, so much.
He won't lose himself this time, he vows, he won't hurt anyone or regret anything. But he will believe Ryuu and believe in him when he says he doesn't have to hold back. A low, guttural sound like a growl rises up in Gaku, and he grinds his hips against Ryuu with purpose, making a statement. Ryuu smells like home and comfort and TRIGGER and now he smells like lust to Gaku, something maybe the poor man is inventing in his growing haze.
Pulling his head back, he looks into Ryuu's eyes before one hand tangles properly in soft brown hair and the other skims down to grip at Ryuu's backside, pulling him close, too.]
I don't think I've ever wanted anything the way I want you right now, Ryuu. You said you can take it? [A sharp inhale, as Gaku takes in his scent again.] I'll count on that.
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so even if it's with him, ryuu doesn't want him to feel like he'll ever have to betray that. no matter how much he's burning or how crazy his desires get. his pulse spikes at those words, at what's going to happen here, but ryuu's talent also lies in his voice, his control over his body.
color has crawled up his neck, draped across the crests of his cheeks, but he hasn't shied back. maybe this is what it would be like, if his image matched his personality... ]
I want you too. [ god, does he ever. some things may be different, but his heart is much the same. ] Trust me.
[ trust him to arch his back off the wall at the touch of gaku's hand pressing on him, legs parting to accept one of gaku's thighs between them. it's a much more intense angle to grind down on him at, to take his display in full. of course, ryuu has his own pride. he won't just roll over and show his belly either.
especially because the heat and hardness now welling beneath his pants isn't negligible.
if it takes some of the strain of the encounter off gaku, ryuu will make the first move - he ducks at him, ears pinning back as he goes for his mouth, that sharp tongue of his, with something that's half a kiss and half a bite. ]
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Still. Ryuu looks... delightful. Delicious. Gaku thinks he might lose the battle with self control early on here, and give in to these wild urges. But... if it's with Ryuu, it's not so bad. It's good, in fact, because the man is solid and sturdy and reliable and trustworthy and he'd probably look incredibly good on his knees--that last part ushers in a rush of other, primal thoughts, leaving Gaku faintly growling. His own cheeks are touched with color, and his eyes seem darker, the catlike pupils dilated like a beast about to pounce.
Were they always like this? On the verge of something wild and beautiful and dangerous? Or is that something Gaku's feral brain is concocting because he's been in a place where he's seen Ryuu subjugated and Tenn beaten, a place that made him so fiercely protective of them that he was sure, absolutely sure he'd die for them? Was that utter sense of hopelessness what drove him to realize just how much he loves them both? It's served him well, because since he arrived here, he's done nothing but seize every opportunity to move TRIGGER forward, and now maybe he'll take the same approach to showing Ryuu every side of him, every secret. Because Gaku losing himself to anything other than a cause is sinful enough to make him want to hide.
Yet here he is, shoving a leg between Ryuu's, the two of them hard and wanting and openly admitting it like it's never needed to be a secret to begin with. The softness they usually show each other is gone and replaced with fire he wouldn't dream of dousing. And when Ryuu bites at his lips, demands the kiss, Gaku gives so freely that he's left feeling like this is the most natural and normal thing they could possibly do.
He rolls his hips, grinding against Ryuu as he bites back at him, tongue seeking entry and not taking no for an answer. There's a power struggle to be had here, but even if Ryuu is bigger and stronger than Gaku, the silver-haired man won't be the prey today. He's decided that much. He's already imagining the arch of Ryuu's back and the way his face will twist up with pleasure and he can only hope Ryuu's going to pursue this in the way he wants.
His hands roam to Ryuu's waist, quickly unfastening his pants and pushing them down just enough that he can slide his hands inside them and against the skin of Ryuu's backside, gripping the lean muscle there. It may mean Ryuu's exposed now, but that's fine by Gaku. He'd prefer a little more skin contact anyway. One hand claws up Ryuu's back, leaving red marks that won't go away for a blissful while.]
I'm glad. [It's sincere, but growled and followed by him moving that upper hand again and wrapping it around the back of Ryuu's neck, guiding the angle of the kiss, the depth. A sure assertion of dominance.]
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and as carried away as he sometimes gets with his love, he's never broken it down, piecemeal, to matters of the body or matters of the heart. it's all the same to him - his heart's hammering so hard he feels it in the hollows of his teeth as they kiss. he came here because he wanted to see him, because ryuu has never liked to imagine life without him and yet he'd had to swallow down a month of it in this place with these incredibly powerful changes, these fierce urges he'd had a hard time trusting himself with. that this is so easy now that gaku's here is something he wants to share, more than anything. ryuu needs him, and the fiery moon overhead just gives his foolish bravery a new spin, a new kind of gravity.
that fire ryuu will fight to make his own comes billowing out in a heated noise against gaku's mouth, a rich growl softened by the way his tongue slides over the other man's. he draws him in with a potent suck, deepening the kiss. he can go on and on before getting breathless enough to break it. his lung capacity affords him that stamina.
with gaku's hands straying low, so low, already down into his pants to get at the tense skin underneath, exposing as much as he's touching, his grip rises. they have that seamless balance to them still, that physical instinct that makes them so successful on stage. it feels as natural as that. arms bent between them, ryuu reaches possessively for gaku's jaw, hands slipping upwards until the heels of his palm catch on his cheeks, fingertips grazing into those beautiful silvery strands at his temples.
the unthinkable act of leaving him marked up just lends weight to his presence.
his tail swipes the wall and ryuu meets gaku's feverish grinding with a roll of his whole lower body, the move like something out of a dance, fluid and sure. he drags as much of himself against gaku as he can, expressiveness coming through with his body more than his words. he's so keyed up it's dizzying, hardness trapped between them as he finally breaks their kisses with a noisy breath, teeth poised at this mouth like it's not enough.
the smell alone is totally inside his head, like his pulse has a color, a shape he can bite into. ]
Gaku...
[ he breathes his name, taking a nip at his chin. ah, his throat's so close... ]
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As it is, he'll subsist on whatever is freely and comfortably given, never demanding more, never expecting it. But when he says he loves TRIGGER he means he loves Tenn and Ryuu just as much. Not that that is anywhere near his mind right now, when there are teeth and tongues and hard bodies involved, pressed and moving like the rhythms of their songs. This is a different kind of harmony, and one Gaku won't shy away from.
Ryuu's the one to break away, and Gaku's chest heaves, although he doesn't seem to be anything but hotly placid. He sees where Ryuu's movements are going. And he welcomes the attention.]
Take what you want, Ryuu. [Firm. Hot like the friction Gaku creates when he moves with Ryuu. Quiet and true, an offer and an expectation and maybe even a challenge.] I know I'm going to.
[His hand at Ryuu's neck slides back down, slipping between them to run up his chest instead, curved fingers finding a nipple to worry at while Gaku invitingly tips his chin up and growls softly.]
You know how much I need this. I need you, Ryuu. So do it.
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Letting me go first, huh...
[ but he's still just gaku. his friend, groupmate, a loved one. no matter how fearsome, ryuu would never back down from him or deny him anything even if it meant indulging, if it meant letting that heat he feels overtake him long enough to burn up his inhibitions. but ryuu's more fiery than he lets on too, which is why his fingers tighten in response, digging into gaku's hair and tipping his head back to let his palms cradle it. it's a gentle gesture masked in a strong touch. his ears stand straight as he leans in low, nose brushing the elegant column of his neck, lashes fluttering sharply.
there's a flash in his mind before he does it that he has to inhale away, teeth snapping down on that pale skin. and it's a bite - it's not just the skin he's after, but the muscle underneath. his jaw flexes, teeth tightening until he feels that give, that wet, metallic crush.
it's like there's not a single thought in his mind other than gaku's challenge, the sharp scent that floods his nose because of it. ]
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And when he does, Gaku snaps. He wrenches Ryuu away from the wall by the front of his shirt and by the grip at his neck, shifting it to his nape and using strength he honestly didn't know he had to force Ryuu to the floor in the center of the living room. Gaku faintly registers the coffee table being scooted back several inches as he descends on Ryuu, clawed fingers ripping into the back of his shirt. He tears the fabric out of the way, gripping Ryuu's tail in his other hand, and leans down over him, breath heavy. There's something trickling over his throat, and he smells blood. His own.
Growling, he leans forward, mindlessly baring his own sharp canines and bringing them to bear on the other man's shoulder. He scrapes once, licks, then bites down just as hard as he was bitten. And now he gets why Ryuu did it. It's so satisfying to let the instincts take over. He could never do this as an idol.
But right now, who's the beast? Certainly not just Ryuu. It's no less erotic than advertised, though.]
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he's completely overwhelming like this. the scent of his blood, his heat in the air. ryuu can't even swallow back the taste of gaku's skin before his teeth plunge into his shoulder. his body hitches with a gasp and he shudders with his next exhale, riding the sensation out. his ears pin back and his tail thrashes in gaku's grasp, back bowing.
the pain blossoms soon afterwards, all heady adrenaline. his stomach trembles when he breathes out again, soft growls sounding through his panting. he tilts his shoulder against the grip, overt in the way he's seeing if gaku will bite down on him harder. he can feel it... gaku is still gaku. there's so much he was holding back. ryuu wants him to break it all on him, and only him - he's not even considering how wildly selfish that is of him when all he can think about is having those teeth driven into him again, all over, staking their claim.
that want sharpens until he's forgetting everything else but the touch of the man behind him. ryuu chances jarring gaku's mouth by shifting back and grinding against him again. ]
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He doesn't notice the grinding right away, much in the way that he doesn't notice himself returning it, hips working slow but frantic, the press too much to normally be suitable. He's not going to let this end with a little basic rutting, like they were against the wall. He's clawing at Ryuu's clothing as soon as he lets go of his tail, a hand at the back of Ryuu's neck, keeping him half pinned. Gaku's solid frame is doing the rest of the work.
His teeth sink back into Ryuu's shoulder, mainly because he can't get enough of the adrenaline that flows through him every time skin gives way and that metallic taste touches his tongue. The frantic way he bites at every inch of Ryuu's back that he can find purchase on speaks to his desperation, and the places that can't be bitten are lapped at generously, sucked on to bruising. Tomorrow, Ryuu's going to look like hell. And it'll be Gaku's fault. He'll have turned the gorgeous, sun-drenched model into something he can't show the public eye.
There's deep, deep satisfaction in claiming Ryuu like this, in marking him in ways Gaku could only dream of with anyone else. In making him unfit for anyone else to see. In taking and taking, selfish and indulgent, mindless and erratic.]
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