Well, if you really like him, I can't see why you wouldn't have asked him out... it's not only the moons doing that, is it? I can tell.
[ gaku only gets this fiery and self-deprecating when something really important is on the line, after all. sighing, ryuu leans back and bumps himself into gakus legs as a way to try and get him to release some tension. ]
It's not just the moons. I realized it the day I made the promo video. That I spend as much of my time with him as I can. So... I took him out for cake, just to see if it was all in my head. We held hands and I don't think I've ever been looked at like that in my life.
[He's smiling now, even if it's a little bittersweet. And when Ryuu touches him, he finally lets the tension roll off, leaning back beside him.]
What a cute picture. You look happy too... that's the Gaku I like to see.
[ so. ryuu hums, thinking on how to get there. ]
I think you ought to trust in what Ritsu-kun tells you, too. But until then, it'd be good if we could figure out how to calm you down during Sanguis. Do you want me to help?
[He gazes fondly at the picture. It's funny how someone managed to get into his head so fast.]
He's incredible, Ryuu. I mean it. I'm hooked.
[But Ryuu's on to something with that, and Gaku nods. Of course he's going to trust Ritsu, but at the same time, hurting him is beyond Gaku's desires and the last thing he'd ever even want. He thinks, anyway.]
If you're offering, I'll take it. You're usually pretty soothing. Ah, except when we're both like that we get kind of...
[ gaku just bringing it up makes ryuu color somewhat, the tilt of his laugh turning bashful. but it's fine. they're sitting here like this, and though so much is different, some of those different things felt right with gaku, and so much is still the same, too. ]
I know. But I think if I had something to focus on, I could do it! Actually, I'm sure I could.
[Gaku doesn't know how to read the situation sometimes, but at least he tried to be gentle with bringing it up. Not that it was bad going a bit wild with Ryuu. It was less terrifying in the aftermath by far than when he did it to Ritsu.
Things are different here. Gaku knows that. He'll have to accept it all, little by little, and deal with things as they come at him. But for now, he'll look to Ryuu's kindness as a bit of a sanctuary.]
Alright, then we'll come up with a strategy. We can... play a game, or rehearse a little extra. Keep ourselves occupied or exhausted enough to not want to chase the urges. That might work, right?
We won't know unless we give it a shot. We're good at that.
[ fondly, ryuu leans back, giving gaku's legs a gentle knock. ]
So, we can try a little of everything until we figure something out. [ it's still a lot to think back on, and a lot to navigate forward through, but ryuu has a stable, accepting heart. just sitting here with gaku does wonders for him. ] I might like the idea of rehearsing the most, though.
[Still a bit tipsy, Gaku draws his legs up slightly and turns toward Ryuu, planting his forehead on the man's broad shoulder.]
Rehearsing gives us the most returns. We can't lose, doing that. It better work, or I'm going to be pissed. [A beat.] Not at you. Just at this place in general. I didn't ask for this.
[ the gesture makes ryuu start a bit, but his ease into it is twice as comfortable. with a chuckle, ryuu reaches up to lay a hand on his back. gaku may not know it, but it's the second time he's eased his homesickness just by - well, being there. ]
It'll be okay! At the very least we'll have gotten a practice in, in that case!
[Gaku is normally so driven here that he hardly has time to feel homesick. No, it's more like he won't allow it. It doesn't accomplish anything. And as sentimental as he is, and how glad that TRIGGER recovered back home, the present is his to master, and their future is on his shoulders. Maybe that's why he feels so bad about doing something as selfish as falling for someone. At least here, it isn't as much of a sin. It's just... he can't shake that about home, of all damn things.
But here's Ryuu, soothing in ways he couldn't be at home, and Gaku treasures it.]
Yep. That's what I'm thinking. Being productive ought to keep me out of trouble, right? And if I'm around you... ah, I mean, I'll have to talk to Ritsu about it, but we can always... Go off on each other. That sounds terrible. You know I love you, Ryuu.
Honestly... I wonder if work was ever enough to keep us out of trouble. We managed to do both pretty well, now that I think about it.
[ of course, he's being a little tongue in cheek, but he supposes it doesn't hurt to juxtapose fond memories of troublemaking over... well, the types of things they can get up to here. haven gotten up to. of course, he's just himself right now, so his face goes all warm.
for a lot of reasons. ]
Yeah. I love you too, Gaku. Don't worry. I'm not as scared of it with you, either.
[ they've already come out on the other side of sanguis once. he's all in. ]
[He smiles at Ryuu's mention of not being scared. It's nice to know he can help, really. That he's not just a loose cannon and a liability, even when he's at his least controlled.]
I know I'm ten times worse than I am at home when it's Sanguis. Tenn's gonna give me hell if he ever sees me like that, but I know it'll happen eventually.
[He falls silent, looking up at the ceiling.]
I oughta turn in. I'm taking Ritsu out for brunch tomorrow. [A grin.] What the hell. I really like him... [A hand covers his face for a moment.] You don't have to walk back. You can stay with me tonight, if you don't mind sharing the bed. I can't make you sleep on the couch after I woke you up so late.
[ with a laugh, ryuu pats his knees and climbs to a stand. come what may - they've always had each other's backs. tenn will be a difficult situation to ford, but ryuu has no doubt that they'll figure it out, even if the nature of his fears about their center is probably very different from gaku's.
it's still nice to sense that their feelings align. with a smile, he turns to face him. ]
Let's get you to bed first, then I can worry about me.
[ leaning down, he takes hold of gaku's hands and gingerly goes about peeling him from the couch. ]
[He holds on to Ryuu's hands and stands, laughing softly as he does so. It feels natural and normal to just release them and wrap his arms around Ryuu, too.]
You're too good to me. Sometimes I really don't deserve you... or Tenn. Thanks for everything. Always.
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[ gaku only gets this fiery and self-deprecating when something really important is on the line, after all. sighing, ryuu leans back and bumps himself into gakus legs as a way to try and get him to release some tension. ]
What did he say to you?
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[He's smiling now, even if it's a little bittersweet. And when Ryuu touches him, he finally lets the tension roll off, leaning back beside him.]
What did he say? When?
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When you asked him out! Yes, obviously. Right?
[ gaku please these are the important details. ]
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Yeah. He said yes. And I'm gonna make it count.
[He pulls out his phone and pulls up a picture, a selfie of the two of them from earlier in the night. He turns the phone toward Ryuu with a smile.]
Look at him.
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What a cute picture. You look happy too... that's the Gaku I like to see.
[ so. ryuu hums, thinking on how to get there. ]
I think you ought to trust in what Ritsu-kun tells you, too. But until then, it'd be good if we could figure out how to calm you down during Sanguis. Do you want me to help?
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He's incredible, Ryuu. I mean it. I'm hooked.
[But Ryuu's on to something with that, and Gaku nods. Of course he's going to trust Ritsu, but at the same time, hurting him is beyond Gaku's desires and the last thing he'd ever even want. He thinks, anyway.]
If you're offering, I'll take it. You're usually pretty soothing. Ah, except when we're both like that we get kind of...
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I know. But I think if I had something to focus on, I could do it! Actually, I'm sure I could.
[ because it's for gaku, he has no doubts. ]
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Things are different here. Gaku knows that. He'll have to accept it all, little by little, and deal with things as they come at him. But for now, he'll look to Ryuu's kindness as a bit of a sanctuary.]
Alright, then we'll come up with a strategy. We can... play a game, or rehearse a little extra. Keep ourselves occupied or exhausted enough to not want to chase the urges. That might work, right?
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[ fondly, ryuu leans back, giving gaku's legs a gentle knock. ]
So, we can try a little of everything until we figure something out. [ it's still a lot to think back on, and a lot to navigate forward through, but ryuu has a stable, accepting heart. just sitting here with gaku does wonders for him. ] I might like the idea of rehearsing the most, though.
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Rehearsing gives us the most returns. We can't lose, doing that. It better work, or I'm going to be pissed. [A beat.] Not at you. Just at this place in general. I didn't ask for this.
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It'll be okay! At the very least we'll have gotten a practice in, in that case!
[ there's looking on the bright side
and then there's ryuu. ]
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But here's Ryuu, soothing in ways he couldn't be at home, and Gaku treasures it.]
Yep. That's what I'm thinking. Being productive ought to keep me out of trouble, right? And if I'm around you... ah, I mean, I'll have to talk to Ritsu about it, but we can always... Go off on each other. That sounds terrible. You know I love you, Ryuu.
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[ of course, he's being a little tongue in cheek, but he supposes it doesn't hurt to juxtapose fond memories of troublemaking over... well, the types of things they can get up to here. haven gotten up to. of course, he's just himself right now, so his face goes all warm.
for a lot of reasons. ]
Yeah. I love you too, Gaku. Don't worry. I'm not as scared of it with you, either.
[ they've already come out on the other side of sanguis once. he's all in. ]
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I know I'm ten times worse than I am at home when it's Sanguis. Tenn's gonna give me hell if he ever sees me like that, but I know it'll happen eventually.
[He falls silent, looking up at the ceiling.]
I oughta turn in. I'm taking Ritsu out for brunch tomorrow. [A grin.] What the hell. I really like him... [A hand covers his face for a moment.] You don't have to walk back. You can stay with me tonight, if you don't mind sharing the bed. I can't make you sleep on the couch after I woke you up so late.
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it's still nice to sense that their feelings align. with a smile, he turns to face him. ]
Let's get you to bed first, then I can worry about me.
[ leaning down, he takes hold of gaku's hands and gingerly goes about peeling him from the couch. ]
Up we go.
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You're too good to me. Sometimes I really don't deserve you... or Tenn. Thanks for everything. Always.
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[ no doubt about it. ]
So, anytime.