You -- [ it's... it's something. it's profound and intense, the surge and swell of overwhelming emotion and the unfurling euphoria of synchrony. kogami feels greedy, like an intruder despite ryuu's request -- when he bends to the impossible longing for a glimpse into his heart.
don't forget who I am.
it rings and echoes, filling the newly-forged connection, a precursor to the raging storm kogami suddenly feels, disrupting his own forced-serenity like a pebble in a dark lake, rippling in response to the disturbance and stirring the beast that sleeps. kogami feels, fights not to reel from the richness of ryuu's emotion, the roiling heat of intimacy, the pain of his heartache and confusion. kogami's grip tightens on his when he realises that he isn't lying, the heart of him laid bare for kogami's eyes only.
he looks back at him, his own feelings of surprise, wonder, uncertainty, and the strong desire to know eases right back through their connection, where the world boils down to just ryuu. he looks at him like he knows him, because he must, to feel something as powerful as this.
before he can stop himself, he can't help but draw closer, pulling ryuu into him and giving into his greed, pressing the man flush against him in an embrace. their hands remain joined, and kogami's hand comes to curl around the back of his neck. ]
[ after glimpsing the awe in his eyes, being pulled in so close startles him enough to shake his breath in his lungs. he inhales and it's sharp with an emotion he can't even begin to name - he doesn't expect it of kogami, not least of all because the man owes him nothing for his remembrance. it thuds through him like a pulse, fills up the spaces in his aching chest. feeling a little hazy now, ryuu finally exhales into the embrace only he knows so well. an arm winds around him and he tucks his nose into his collar... even his scent is the same. ]
Sorry... [ again, muffled into him for lack of anything else to say. ] Just for a second.
[ though he knows this overflowing of his emotions is temporary, a needed release before an inevitable start over, they're all without pretense. he cared this much with a heart so ordinary. anything kogami desires to know, he'll give him like this, thinking that this is the only way he knows how to make sense of it.
sniffling quietly, he squeezes his hand. he's still so warm. ]
[ kogami murmurs when ryuu presses closer, the heat and warmth of his body, the potent, intoxicating rush of synchrony unceasing, flowing between them so openly. he feels the embrace become just a touch more intimate, and he can't help his own feelings of the matter, wonder, curiosity, warmth, and the slow rousing of an affection that awakens in the shape of another thing yet unfamiliar, but known.
no matter the world, kogami falls for him the same.
he feels him sniffle, sweet and soft, and he gives him a brief squeeze. ] You fit just right.
[ he shifts now, nudges him to look at him properly. this time, kogami's expression is softer, his fingers grasping his chin as ryuu's feelings overflow, flooding through him like light, like warmth, like everything kogami's never had. ]
[ a laugh tremors through his throat, short and quiet. in response to that low observation, he tightens his arms in a way that suggests he'd never let go again, if he had the choice not to. as if physicality is a boundary they've already conquered. he can't help it - the raw honesty of those words in all their simplicity hits home. but ryuu can't confirm it for him, all he can do is let him explore the chambers of his heart through synchrony, listening to the echoes of familiarity that were once there. kogami is... profoundly sharp. if anyone could pierce through what was obscured to reach the truth beneath, it would be him.
he believes that. as they part, ryuu meets his gaze with tear-bright eyes. as much as he'd wanted to hold them back, the tilt of his chin causes him to blink them out in silent streaks. not wanting to be untethered from him, ryuu's hand settles at his waist. ]
[ something about the raw, undeniable honesty in his words makes him swallow hard. this man, this person who should, for all intents and purposes, be a stranger to him, is baring his soul to him -- and he can feel it, the earnestness, the connection that flows richly between them. he can sense more than he should, as if they've connected before, as if this is the most natural thing in the world.
he takes a breath, reaching out to gently wipe those silver streaks of tears with calloused thumbs. how strange it is to have someone cry because of him, especially someone as handsome, as striking as he is, with golden eyes he's known so intimately a lifetime ago.
perhaps it's recklessness, perhaps it's sheer instinct, perhaps it's something a part of him had wanted to do for a long time, but kogami's hand comes to cup his jaw as he leans in to press a soft kiss to the side of his mouth. gentle, tentative. it feels right, like his heart had been yearning for this all along. ]
...I'm here.
[ he says softly. he cannot promise more; he might break them all, and ryuu deserves better. ]
[ a kiss as soft and halting as that somehow pounds through the hollows of his body with a heat that grips to all the spaces ryuu remembers kogami occupying. the nerves of his teeth, the tract of his throat. in his belly, behind his eyes, curled beneath his sternum where all the signs of life are. strong lungs, a steady heart. his body feels... occupied by him, like he belongs there. he'd invited him, after all. tooth and nail, steel and smoke. knowing he was dangerous and accepting him anyway.
yet it's with a quiet laugh that ryuu pulls himself away from his lips. instead, his hand rises to cover kogami's where it lays over his jaw. he presses his damp, hot cheek into his palm, lulling. he shakes his head, half a nuzzle. ]
It's okay. I don't need anymore than that.
[ it would be too unfair of him. he already can't stop the rush of manna from betraying what his body remembers about this man. but he can make the decision to not take it too far. ]
[ kogami has never met a man like him before, ridiculously handsome and soft, the vast well of his emotions pressing up against his own thoughts as the synchrony deepens between them inexplicably. he can feel all of it, the heartache and the yearning, the strength and that unconditional acceptance.
kogami's heart skips a beat, and for a few moments he regrets not knowing him. the other version of him in another world had been a lucky bastard, he supposes. he presses his forehead to his, reluctant to be too far away when his proximity is almost like a drug, gentle but intoxicating, drawing him to him like a magnet. ]
[ that singular touch to the angle of his brow both soothes him and makes his chest feel weak. so much that it longs to give in at the slightest push against it, the emotions that break across him like waves. the regret, the disconnect, the reaching across the void where familiarity would be. lulling against him, ryuu allows kogami to brush against the shape of what's being held so firmly in his heart. not something ryuu means to keep away from him, but something ryuu wouldn't force on him.
the words that follow in the wake of it make him smile, sniffling back his tears. he's had his moment of weakness for the past, and now in front of him is - a future, still. ]
Of course. You can... feel that, right?
[ that shared space brimming with magic, with synchrony, waiting to pour over. ]
[ he can feel all of it, the surging warmth, ryuu's tender, soft willingness, the way he keeps himself in check -- he can sense all of it just beyond his own psyche, across the unfamiliar space. the emotions are roiling, and he senses just how close ryuu wants to be.
it's kogami that reaches across now, a hand gently cradling the back of his head as he gently moves to kiss him again. this time it's assuring, warm; even if kogami doesn't know what ryuu knows, there is a future for them. it is shared magic that takes his breath away, the overwhelming feeling of connecting with another that makes his grip tighten just a little. ]
...Yes. I can feel you. Everything that you're feeling --
[ he is unused to having another occupy his space, the warmth and acceptance that ryuu brings with him. he kisses that smile, leans into those tears, and takes them all for himself. ]
[ it's so hard to turn him away. his constitution isn't a fairweather thing, but his recognition of this man undoes him, letting the light of his advance scatter across the angles of his body. he remembers every moment. every touch, every word. a second kiss sends his heart pounding in his chest, simple and raw. ryuu should tread carefully through this physicality, the conduit through which those emotions reach. that nothingness is tumultuous and frustrating, but the way kogami reaches for him, hands and thoughts in tandem, brushes away the hesitation.
breathing against him, ryuu finally eases into kogami's grip. a man of his strength could have easily forced his way in, but he didn't. he never has - ryuu has just always been drawn to him. eyes fluttering shut, ryuu parts his lips to finally accept him in unconditionally, soothing at his need to know.
ryuu's arms lower to let him in closer, reaching to wrap around his waist and pull him in.
[ kogami can feel him yield, when he eases into his grip willingly, and something important loosens in his chest, something kogami hasn't yet noticed until it dissipates. he can feel the heat of ryuu's emotions, warm and overwhelming, pressing up against his own pysche with a gentleness that he allows in.
how strange, how very strange. he deepens the kiss again, gently pinning him to his kitchen counter, exploring his mouth as if they would reveal the secrets hidden from him. ryuu is familiar and new both, and he breathes between his lips, wondering if ryuu had said it or if it's simply his imagination -- ]
[ he couldn't have imagined it. even hoping for it felt wrong. to be let in so soon, the rush of his emotions swell into the spaces kogami affords him. this time, it's not confusion or sorrow, but the sensation of comfort, protection - that of trust. all the best parts of him that remember how kogami had made him feel even in the throes of the blood moon flood through the spaces where he once fit. chest, arms, heart. if it's still that way, he has no idea. but given the chance, he can't help but reach out with both hands and all of his soul to grasp it.
hearing him speak an answer aloud to something he hadn't actually voiced makes ryuu tremble. one arm loops around the small of his and the other pushes up between them. thoughtfully, ryuu parts from kogami with glazed eyes and wet lips... his fingertips draw gently over the divot in his chest, searching for his heartbeat. soft yet searing, honesty unfettered. ]
I'm not sure how yet.
[ all he has is his manna, the depth of it reflected in the next kiss he slides into, capturing his lips and laving his way in with a deep, slow stroke of tongue.
he kisses him with the relief of someone who thought their lover gone forever. or worse. ]
[ the depth of ryuu's courage and his sweet willingness is startling. he can practically feel the other man warm up despite that little tremble -- this other man, who should, for all intents and purposes, be a stranger to him but isn't, who makes him ache like he's known him all his life. manna surges between them, putting truth to ryuu's words, his sentiment.
kogami shallows hard as he looks down at those fingertips over his chest, as if ryuu can divine just how his heart is pounding just from that. kogami's face gives nothing away, but the heat in gunmetal grey eyes speaks volumes.
the softness of his lips is endlessly tempting, and he eagerly meets him halfway for another taste and another, his tongue slipping up against his smoothly. they fit perfectly together, a truth that still baffles him. he can taste the relief, the yearning, and through their connection he can feel himself mirroring it despite the spaces in his memory.
how strange, how wonderful, and his breath catches as his hands come now to cup his face, his gaze sharp and searching, single-minded and intense. ]
You're overwhelming. I can feel everything you're feeling.
[ and kogami's own roiling emotion in response to his own, muted and controlled but very much present. his acceptance, his wonder, his curiosity, and the unmistakable embers of familiar want. ]
[ a look like that pins his soul to the corners of his body before it goes under in the flood of his own thoughts as they rise in him, the warmth honed in kogami's steely gaze all he needs to see to keep himself upright. his fingertips graze over the thunderous pulse in his chest, palm joining them until the entirety of his grip lays gentle and flat on him, thumb drawing shaken, tentative circles on him through his clothing. it had never been a thing so easily given, yet it's right there for him to reach out and touch, to prove to himself that it exists, and it's longing to remember him.
he has to stop kissing him at some point, attempting to navigate the spaces where memories should be rather than flood them, fill them in with selfish desires for him to know. instead, he carefully bridges, latticing his memories over the hollows of the soul he feels like he can see into, they're so close. ]
If it's too much, you can tell me.
[ kogami had asked to know, but he still wonders. sighing, he rests against him, arm looped at his waist and brows together, the minimal space between them like that of the air between a warm hearth and an open door at night. ]
I'm still getting used to it too... synchrony. Manna should feel more familiar, I think. [ that mingling of their energies to produce something powerful and new. ] It's similar to what happened in the last place we met in.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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don't forget who I am.
it rings and echoes, filling the newly-forged connection, a precursor to the raging storm kogami suddenly feels, disrupting his own forced-serenity like a pebble in a dark lake, rippling in response to the disturbance and stirring the beast that sleeps. kogami feels, fights not to reel from the richness of ryuu's emotion, the roiling heat of intimacy, the pain of his heartache and confusion. kogami's grip tightens on his when he realises that he isn't lying, the heart of him laid bare for kogami's eyes only.
he looks back at him, his own feelings of surprise, wonder, uncertainty, and the strong desire to know eases right back through their connection, where the world boils down to just ryuu. he looks at him like he knows him, because he must, to feel something as powerful as this.
before he can stop himself, he can't help but draw closer, pulling ryuu into him and giving into his greed, pressing the man flush against him in an embrace. their hands remain joined, and kogami's hand comes to curl around the back of his neck. ]
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Sorry... [ again, muffled into him for lack of anything else to say. ] Just for a second.
[ though he knows this overflowing of his emotions is temporary, a needed release before an inevitable start over, they're all without pretense. he cared this much with a heart so ordinary. anything kogami desires to know, he'll give him like this, thinking that this is the only way he knows how to make sense of it.
sniffling quietly, he squeezes his hand. he's still so warm. ]
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[ kogami murmurs when ryuu presses closer, the heat and warmth of his body, the potent, intoxicating rush of synchrony unceasing, flowing between them so openly. he feels the embrace become just a touch more intimate, and he can't help his own feelings of the matter, wonder, curiosity, warmth, and the slow rousing of an affection that awakens in the shape of another thing yet unfamiliar, but known.
no matter the world, kogami falls for him the same.
he feels him sniffle, sweet and soft, and he gives him a brief squeeze. ] You fit just right.
[ he shifts now, nudges him to look at him properly. this time, kogami's expression is softer, his fingers grasping his chin as ryuu's feelings overflow, flooding through him like light, like warmth, like everything kogami's never had. ]
We had something special, didn't we?
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[ a laugh tremors through his throat, short and quiet. in response to that low observation, he tightens his arms in a way that suggests he'd never let go again, if he had the choice not to. as if physicality is a boundary they've already conquered. he can't help it - the raw honesty of those words in all their simplicity hits home. but ryuu can't confirm it for him, all he can do is let him explore the chambers of his heart through synchrony, listening to the echoes of familiarity that were once there. kogami is... profoundly sharp. if anyone could pierce through what was obscured to reach the truth beneath, it would be him.
he believes that. as they part, ryuu meets his gaze with tear-bright eyes. as much as he'd wanted to hold them back, the tilt of his chin causes him to blink them out in silent streaks. not wanting to be untethered from him, ryuu's hand settles at his waist. ]
It felt special. Everyday did. I -
[ his expression sets. ]
...really missed you.
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he takes a breath, reaching out to gently wipe those silver streaks of tears with calloused thumbs. how strange it is to have someone cry because of him, especially someone as handsome, as striking as he is, with golden eyes he's known so intimately a lifetime ago.
perhaps it's recklessness, perhaps it's sheer instinct, perhaps it's something a part of him had wanted to do for a long time, but kogami's hand comes to cup his jaw as he leans in to press a soft kiss to the side of his mouth. gentle, tentative. it feels right, like his heart had been yearning for this all along. ]
...I'm here.
[ he says softly. he cannot promise more; he might break them all, and ryuu deserves better. ]
You're really...
[ you do such strange things to me. ]
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yet it's with a quiet laugh that ryuu pulls himself away from his lips. instead, his hand rises to cover kogami's where it lays over his jaw. he presses his damp, hot cheek into his palm, lulling. he shakes his head, half a nuzzle. ]
It's okay. I don't need anymore than that.
[ it would be too unfair of him. he already can't stop the rush of manna from betraying what his body remembers about this man. but he can make the decision to not take it too far. ]
I'm glad you're here.
[ that's what matters. ]
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kogami's heart skips a beat, and for a few moments he regrets not knowing him. the other version of him in another world had been a lucky bastard, he supposes. he presses his forehead to his, reluctant to be too far away when his proximity is almost like a drug, gentle but intoxicating, drawing him to him like a magnet. ]
I want to know more of you. Will you show me?
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the words that follow in the wake of it make him smile, sniffling back his tears. he's had his moment of weakness for the past, and now in front of him is - a future, still. ]
Of course. You can... feel that, right?
[ that shared space brimming with magic, with synchrony, waiting to pour over. ]
no subject
it's kogami that reaches across now, a hand gently cradling the back of his head as he gently moves to kiss him again. this time it's assuring, warm; even if kogami doesn't know what ryuu knows, there is a future for them. it is shared magic that takes his breath away, the overwhelming feeling of connecting with another that makes his grip tighten just a little. ]
...Yes. I can feel you. Everything that you're feeling --
[ he is unused to having another occupy his space, the warmth and acceptance that ryuu brings with him. he kisses that smile, leans into those tears, and takes them all for himself. ]
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breathing against him, ryuu finally eases into kogami's grip. a man of his strength could have easily forced his way in, but he didn't. he never has - ryuu has just always been drawn to him. eyes fluttering shut, ryuu parts his lips to finally accept him in unconditionally, soothing at his need to know.
ryuu's arms lower to let him in closer, reaching to wrap around his waist and pull him in.
There's so much that I have to tell you. ]
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how strange, how very strange. he deepens the kiss again, gently pinning him to his kitchen counter, exploring his mouth as if they would reveal the secrets hidden from him. ryuu is familiar and new both, and he breathes between his lips, wondering if ryuu had said it or if it's simply his imagination -- ]
Then tell me. Show me.
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hearing him speak an answer aloud to something he hadn't actually voiced makes ryuu tremble. one arm loops around the small of his and the other pushes up between them. thoughtfully, ryuu parts from kogami with glazed eyes and wet lips... his fingertips draw gently over the divot in his chest, searching for his heartbeat. soft yet searing, honesty unfettered. ]
I'm not sure how yet.
[ all he has is his manna, the depth of it reflected in the next kiss he slides into, capturing his lips and laving his way in with a deep, slow stroke of tongue.
he kisses him with the relief of someone who thought their lover gone forever. or worse. ]
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kogami shallows hard as he looks down at those fingertips over his chest, as if ryuu can divine just how his heart is pounding just from that. kogami's face gives nothing away, but the heat in gunmetal grey eyes speaks volumes.
the softness of his lips is endlessly tempting, and he eagerly meets him halfway for another taste and another, his tongue slipping up against his smoothly. they fit perfectly together, a truth that still baffles him. he can taste the relief, the yearning, and through their connection he can feel himself mirroring it despite the spaces in his memory.
how strange, how wonderful, and his breath catches as his hands come now to cup his face, his gaze sharp and searching, single-minded and intense. ]
You're overwhelming. I can feel everything you're feeling.
[ and kogami's own roiling emotion in response to his own, muted and controlled but very much present. his acceptance, his wonder, his curiosity, and the unmistakable embers of familiar want. ]
no subject
he has to stop kissing him at some point, attempting to navigate the spaces where memories should be rather than flood them, fill them in with selfish desires for him to know. instead, he carefully bridges, latticing his memories over the hollows of the soul he feels like he can see into, they're so close. ]
If it's too much, you can tell me.
[ kogami had asked to know, but he still wonders. sighing, he rests against him, arm looped at his waist and brows together, the minimal space between them like that of the air between a warm hearth and an open door at night. ]
I'm still getting used to it too... synchrony. Manna should feel more familiar, I think. [ that mingling of their energies to produce something powerful and new. ] It's similar to what happened in the last place we met in.