[ now that he's just come out with it he does... actually feel better for it. funny how that works. ]
Come on, Momo-san. [ a laugh. ] That's too much, still.
[ despite the fact that it does seem like he's never once looked in a mirror, he's lucky in that he takes the ego bolstering in more of an emotional capacity anyway. laying a hand on his chest, he's thankful for momo's acceptance. and also the wine. otherwise trying to defend his purity at all would be an unhelpful exercise in futility. ]
It might always feel a little awkward to talk about so plainly! No matter where I am. [ not least of all because anesagi would cross dimensions to put his head on a pike, no doubt. but also his role had built up a version of himself that he'd warred with a long time, up until recently. in some respects, that dissonance has eased back now. ] But sometimes I'm glad when I think about my image not being as strict in places like this.
[ which is to say that TRIGGER couldn't suffer for the things he got up to...
and he (hopefully) wouldn't be so liable to disappoint someone. ]
No it's not! You're just modest. [Momo gives him a hearty squeeze to punctuate that, like he needs to make sure it's extra convincing that Ryuu is all those things so he doesn't turn down his compliments. Ignoring the fact that Momo would've done the same thing in his position, but given how often Momo ignores that fact, it'd be weirder at this point if he didn't.
He can understand why Ryuu would be glad for the reprieve, though, and his smile softens a bit. They all have things they struggle with, in terms of public image against identity, and even a few less things they could have held against them is some kind of relief compared to back home.]
It's less to worry about, isn't it? I guess you just get used to living with those things you accepted when you started the job, and you stop thinking about how tough it can be after a while. But it is tough to give up some of the things we have to give up, for all of us.
[Momo has made it pretty clear previously that he copes with not being able to have his own romantic life by living vicariously trying to meddle in other people's, so he's not ashamed to admit that.] And it won't be so easy for people to try and use that stuff to topple us here, either.
[There's his quiet allusion to the issue of people like Ryou, and the ease with which any "too close" contact with a woman could've ruined any of them at any point. Ryuu was just the one to get landed in it.]
[ listening through the grounding squeeze, ryuu is a little less emphatic than he usually is, though it's not too hard to see why given the seriousness of the topic at its core. sure, they'd both wrapped it up in some silliness, but it can be - and almost had been - something that ruins careers forever. they both know it. that sore spot of his pulses quietly through his manna and ryuu doesn't think to try and stifle it, though he's the first to let his stability and acceptance soothe over it a moment later. ]
It's a strange feeling. It's not like I regret living the life I do back home. I don't think I could be happy doing anything else right now...
[ he pauses, a telltale sign he's trying to find the right words to say. ]
But there's something about the experiences I'm able to have in places like here, or Lunatia, that I don't want to forget about either. It feels a bit selfish to want both.
[Momo is only too ready to read things out of people's Syncing, despite the fact that he keeps a pretty tight lid on what he lets through from his end. In this case, at least, it means there's just a general sense of welcoming and positivity coming from him, because everything else has been shoved too deep for just a hug to get at.
Still, he can see why that's difficult for him. Momo hasn't even been here all that long, but he's naturally the type to form webs of connections with others, so he's already noticing the potential for discord when people leave or when he has to return home.]
I don't think that's selfish. At least if you could remember what happened here, you'd be able to keep those experiences without breaking propriety in our world...but since we don't really know how that played out for you between coming to Lunatia and coming here, it's hard to tell what happens after we leave here, isn't it?
[If Ryuu had clear knowledge of whether he remembered things in Lunatia while he'd gone back home, then they might have a working theory, but as it is, it seems like they'll have to wait and see.]
[ it does call into question what he remembers, and even that much stacks in such a weird way that ryuu is hesitant to even say what he recalls is correct. he takes another drink from his glass, letting the pleasant, mellow effect of the wine help him along. ]
It's really hard! I remember everything, but the way I remember it makes no sense. Winning MOP, being in Lunatia, then being home for our New Years live... now I'm here. But I wonder about it. Did I remember Lunatia when I was home? It doesn't seem like it.
[ he sighs heavily, and though it's a somewhat helpless gesture, the tension is still gradually leaking out of him at a more natural pace than before. ]
Places like this have customs that are really easy to get swept up in, that's for sure. It looks like it won't be moons affecting us, but maybe... our gems?
[That does make things pretty complicated, but does support what Momo heard from the GemSci staff on the way in, when he consulted just about the first one he saw about time passage back home out of worry for Yuki and what he might do if Momo disappeared on him. It gets a thoughtful hum out of him, like he's still trying to reconcile that knowledge himself.]
The scientists here did say that things stop back home while we're here, so that would fit with all your time in Lunatia still putting you back to where you left our world...maybe it's better that we don't remember stuff here, in the long run.
[If they formed friendships here and then had to leave them behind, wouldn't it hurt well into the future that they could never see those people again? Forgetting would let them move on, at least. At the mention of the gems, one of Momo's hands goes to his own throat, touching slightly at the lump there.]
They already kind of did when we landed, so I think you're right about that. I guess all we can really do is wait and see how it turns out.
[He likes to go in with more information, but what's available seems to be somewhat limited so far.]
[ ryuu isn't surprised to hear it, given the limited scope of what he thinks happened between home, lunatia, and here. in one sense, he can understand why the prolonged hurt of missing those he'd connected with would be something better off forgotten, in the other... he frowns when confronted with it, though his expression remains gentle. ]
I think... I'd rather remember, even if hurts.
[ simple and to the point, he doesn't feel like he has to explain himself for his thoughts to carry. glancing aside at the way momo reaches for his gem, his expression warms again. ]
That seems best for now. If I can handle Sanguis, I'm sure I'll be able to handle the gem. [ in that regard, it seems that his sapphire is a little more aligned to his disposition than the red moon had been. though - ] Speaking of, remind me to tell you about the wolf ears sometime.
[Well, Momo can't really question that choice too much. Even if it doesn't seem like they'll have a choice as to whether they remember or not, he can definitely see why Ryuu would want to - why anyone would want to, really. Sometimes the pain is worth it.
So he just lets a hard-to-read smile creep onto his face and doesn't remark on it for the moment. The mention of wolf ears makes him perk up visibly, though.]
How would I be able to forget wolf ears? I'll definitely have to set a whole day aside or something to listen to all these stories of yours, you know! Or maybe we should have a sleepover.
[All very important options as to how to get Momo as much time as possible to hear what went down in Lunatia.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Come on, Momo-san. [ a laugh. ] That's too much, still.
[ despite the fact that it does seem like he's never once looked in a mirror, he's lucky in that he takes the ego bolstering in more of an emotional capacity anyway. laying a hand on his chest, he's thankful for momo's acceptance. and also the wine. otherwise trying to defend his purity at all would be an unhelpful exercise in futility. ]
It might always feel a little awkward to talk about so plainly! No matter where I am. [ not least of all because anesagi would cross dimensions to put his head on a pike, no doubt. but also his role had built up a version of himself that he'd warred with a long time, up until recently. in some respects, that dissonance has eased back now. ] But sometimes I'm glad when I think about my image not being as strict in places like this.
[ which is to say that TRIGGER couldn't suffer for the things he got up to...
and he (hopefully) wouldn't be so liable to disappoint someone. ]
no subject
He can understand why Ryuu would be glad for the reprieve, though, and his smile softens a bit. They all have things they struggle with, in terms of public image against identity, and even a few less things they could have held against them is some kind of relief compared to back home.]
It's less to worry about, isn't it? I guess you just get used to living with those things you accepted when you started the job, and you stop thinking about how tough it can be after a while. But it is tough to give up some of the things we have to give up, for all of us.
[Momo has made it pretty clear previously that he copes with not being able to have his own romantic life by living vicariously trying to meddle in other people's, so he's not ashamed to admit that.] And it won't be so easy for people to try and use that stuff to topple us here, either.
[There's his quiet allusion to the issue of people like Ryou, and the ease with which any "too close" contact with a woman could've ruined any of them at any point. Ryuu was just the one to get landed in it.]
no subject
It's a strange feeling. It's not like I regret living the life I do back home. I don't think I could be happy doing anything else right now...
[ he pauses, a telltale sign he's trying to find the right words to say. ]
But there's something about the experiences I'm able to have in places like here, or Lunatia, that I don't want to forget about either. It feels a bit selfish to want both.
no subject
Still, he can see why that's difficult for him. Momo hasn't even been here all that long, but he's naturally the type to form webs of connections with others, so he's already noticing the potential for discord when people leave or when he has to return home.]
I don't think that's selfish. At least if you could remember what happened here, you'd be able to keep those experiences without breaking propriety in our world...but since we don't really know how that played out for you between coming to Lunatia and coming here, it's hard to tell what happens after we leave here, isn't it?
[If Ryuu had clear knowledge of whether he remembered things in Lunatia while he'd gone back home, then they might have a working theory, but as it is, it seems like they'll have to wait and see.]
no subject
It's really hard! I remember everything, but the way I remember it makes no sense. Winning MOP, being in Lunatia, then being home for our New Years live... now I'm here. But I wonder about it. Did I remember Lunatia when I was home? It doesn't seem like it.
[ he sighs heavily, and though it's a somewhat helpless gesture, the tension is still gradually leaking out of him at a more natural pace than before. ]
Places like this have customs that are really easy to get swept up in, that's for sure. It looks like it won't be moons affecting us, but maybe... our gems?
no subject
The scientists here did say that things stop back home while we're here, so that would fit with all your time in Lunatia still putting you back to where you left our world...maybe it's better that we don't remember stuff here, in the long run.
[If they formed friendships here and then had to leave them behind, wouldn't it hurt well into the future that they could never see those people again? Forgetting would let them move on, at least. At the mention of the gems, one of Momo's hands goes to his own throat, touching slightly at the lump there.]
They already kind of did when we landed, so I think you're right about that. I guess all we can really do is wait and see how it turns out.
[He likes to go in with more information, but what's available seems to be somewhat limited so far.]
no subject
I think... I'd rather remember, even if hurts.
[ simple and to the point, he doesn't feel like he has to explain himself for his thoughts to carry. glancing aside at the way momo reaches for his gem, his expression warms again. ]
That seems best for now. If I can handle Sanguis, I'm sure I'll be able to handle the gem. [ in that regard, it seems that his sapphire is a little more aligned to his disposition than the red moon had been. though - ] Speaking of, remind me to tell you about the wolf ears sometime.
[ among other things. ]
no subject
So he just lets a hard-to-read smile creep onto his face and doesn't remark on it for the moment. The mention of wolf ears makes him perk up visibly, though.]
How would I be able to forget wolf ears? I'll definitely have to set a whole day aside or something to listen to all these stories of yours, you know! Or maybe we should have a sleepover.
[All very important options as to how to get Momo as much time as possible to hear what went down in Lunatia.]