[ giving him the unabashed freedom to chase this desire suddenly burning in his veins is dangerous. he's always been the first to let his eager emotions get the better of him, always the first to let his honesty shine out through the veil of stardom, the perfection he'd so carefully learned to cultivate. but this - this is perfect to him just as it is. he doesn't need his sapphire's influence to be affectionate, but his affection still pulses like an oncoming tide the moment tenn's hands settle on his back, when they kiss again. ryuu swears just the lilt of his playful humming is enough to make him dizzy, letting light shapes blossom over the backs of his eyelids when they flutter shut to really lean into it.
synchrony is a powerful thing when let loose to overflow like ryuu tends to do, but his body positively thrums with an excitement that's all his own too. that elation, that love - it was all already there. so much that he's almost a little clumsy with it, finding it difficult to just simply kiss him back with how much he's smiling.
there are any number of other emotions threatening to overflow: a deep sense of trust and belonging, a protectiveness that wants to guard his heart, that wants to make this all his. his once-outstretched arms circle about tenn's waist, tugging him in closer and urging him to climb up onto the mattress, knees first. he will remember the breakfast tray... later, maybe.
later, when he's not wanting to squeeze tenn to his chest for all he's worth, ready to put his lips on every precious inch of his body. ]
Sorry... [ he thinks to remark around happy kisses, skin hot and heart thudding. ] It's just -
( that perfection... that stardom. a weight so heavy to bear when you're not used to it. he wants ryuu to shine, to be brilliant in his own way--- and he does. he should say that more often. that what he does is perfection itself, that who he is brings light to many dark places. that his heart is as fine and wonderful and all tenn wants is to let everyone else see it for what it is. that behind a visage so blisteringly hot is something way better, and tenn would fiercely defend him so that it could stay that way.
the ruby covets. it desires and won't let others have what it wants. and so, in a way, ruby fits him perfectly. no way will he let anyone else near ryuu if he can help it. this only enables those feelings even further, as he climbs on and lets his knees rest against the outside of ryuu's legs. the tray wobbles precariously, still holding all that food, but that's the least of their problems right now. )
... you don't have to say anything. ( because he feels it. the urge has never been stronger, for touch. for affection. for... )
And you don't have to apologize. You can always ask.
( slowly, he presses ryuu back so that he can rest on the bed as tenn splays out on top, lips anchoring them together. )
[ he's vaguely aware of the quiet way the silverware clinks and clatters from the movement up onto the bed, but the sound is so distant when tenn's words are sinking into him, overtaking everything else. ruby covets and sapphire gives; ryuu has always been moved by tenn's perfect cadence, the passionate unity he has between his words and his body. what else could he ever do by be swept into it? gaku had spoken it into existence, but ryuu had felt it in his blood without the need for words at all - tenn is their center in more than just name. his balance, his gravity, the way he makes ryuu feel confident and electrified...
but he's learned how to do that too, how to match tenn beat for beat. they're partners, after all. a deep hum of affirmation rolls in his chest as his shoulder blades hit the mattress and dig in for comfort. arms tightening, he pulls tenn in closer, then up, from straddling his lap to his hips in a drag of bodies that upends clothes and bridges heights.
it's a little shameless, how eager he is in spite of being so gentle and well-behaved with tenn. he just knows him in so many different ways that he can't help but to want to know this too - delicate wrists crossed at the back of his neck, the softness of his mouth and the muscle he's cultivated in his dancer's thighs where they pin on either side of him.
if he doesn't have to say anything, he'll ask in a way that lets this thing continue to unfurl around them, breaking the kiss with a deep breath only to angle in for another, the seam of his lips parting to invite tenn in, to let him explore too. ]
( he will not cheapen the experiences that he's had up to this point; where tenn has slowly become more and more comfortable being with others. where his lips have, for better or worse, touched others. where his hands have felt around and perused other bodies. but with ryuu... this is different. it's like seeing the world in another lens all together; brighter and more vibrant, the sharpness and contrast being dialed up past whatever discernable maximum that may exist. and as ryuu offers, tenn takes: tongue sneaking through, locking their lips together in a way that is almost air tight. how he wants to share the taste of ryuu's earlier labor, to indulge in whatever might have been lingering in the other's mouth beforehand. even if it was nothing, he wants it. what tenn wants...
he really wants ryuu.
a center can't be in the center without checks and balances. invisible weights that keep him from going one way or the other. he needs them. without someone occupying his hands, he could easily be off-balance. he could lose his way, fall off the wire that he precariously dangles from. but no--- he has ryuu. he has gaku. and with them he can't possibly fail. together, they can't.
there comes a moment where he has to break the kiss. to gasp for some air, while simultaneously letting out a breathless laugh. it's relief, a release, a pressure valve being twisted and turned. )
Ryuu... ( he nudges their foreheads together. ) ... I hope I didn't make you wait too long.
[ excuse him, he might never recover from the sound of tenn's laugh.
or any of the other things going on to charm his breath right from his lungs - he's going to think about that kiss for days. intense heat, slick tongue, the tang of strawberry and affection... breathing is really important, so he doesn't protest the absence of it, but his eyes are clear when he opens them to look at tenn, arms settled fondly around his body. for a moment, he just enjoys the weight settled on him and all the little things that come with it: beating hearts, the rise and fall of chests, the slight friction when he steeples one of his legs for balance. it's wonderful.
and his face is so pink by the time their brows meet. tenn probably clocked him instantly, but he can't find it in him to hold back now. he has to laugh too, equally breathless, a little gravelly when his tone dips low. ]
You didn't. I think our timing's always been pretty good...
[ in that there's very few things that ever feel wrong, when tenn is concerned. he gives him another happy squeeze, all but nuzzling his face. ]
( that's how he feels. free. free of what? that's a complicated question. but he's never felt more able to do whatever he wants. even if that thing is to do exactly what they're used to doing. it's just having that choice that makes him feel that he's... not necessarily in control, but knowing that he only has himself to answer to, is what excites him. to continue doing what he does best with TRIGGER, with both gaku and ryuu, fills his heart with happiness. )
To be with you.
( there are no worries, no scandals, nothing that screams inappropriate or improper. he can be with ryuu on this day without some kind of weight on his shoulders that drag him down. the squeeze elicits another bright noise, a mix of a laugh and a huff that has tenn press his lips against ryuu's jaw and chin and make his eyes sparkle and dance with a smile accompanying it. )
[ that's really what it is, in its purest and simplest form. ryuu isn't a complicated person in spite of the life he's lead; giving up coastal winds for the harsh and drenching lights of tokyo should have been more of a leap of faith than it actually felt like. there were difficult days, of course... there were days when he was hurt, times when he was frustrated. it was because of him that they'd lost everything and had to start over. but in his mind, he was always exactly where he wanted to be, doing what he was meant to do. tenn and gaku had given him that, like they were just holding the keys to one another's locks, waiting for them to show up.
like this, ryuu feels that more strongly than ever. they really are a perfect fit. where he'd once been thrumming with the force of his own pulse, he's calmed down enough to just enjoy the natural little touches dancing all over his body. his arms loosen just enough to skirt a palm up the curve of tenn's back, fondly scritching at him through his pajamas. ]
At first, it didn't feel like I should be glad to be away from home at all... sometimes, it still feels like that. But if I'd never gotten the chance to do this...
[ well. he would have regrets, wouldn't he? ]
It feels right. I'm really happy you're here, Tenn.
( he traded a life of tradition, family, and hard work for an occupation that could have some of the lowest lows and the highest highs. a trade that could nourish him in both body and mind, that could certainly keep him happy in more than just one way for as long as he wanted. the one that he found, that he was scouted for, that he decided to walk away from the countryside and come to a light filled place that could be merciless and painful. how could he not be proud of ryuu, how could he not want to make this man the happiest? and so, for tenn to hear those words... it melts his heart. it breaks down barriers that constantly have to be rebuilt. they don't need to be here, either.
perhaps through ryuu's happiness, he can be too.
he says it feels right and tenn agrees wholeheartedly. not with words and not with his hands though he could easily do that too, but with his lips. with his mouth and his eyes. )
I don't think there's anywhere else I want to be.
( on a strange planet, in a strange gem-based world? he can find peace in ryuu's arms. it's home. )
For my birthday, I want you to stay in bed with me. Is that okay?
[ while synchrony lifts the careful walls they've had to construct around their hearts to keep the torrential amounts of love and responsibility in check, like dams, ducts meant to safely route the force of their feelings... ryuu feels as though he doesn't even need synchrony to feel what tenn feels. he's always been attuned to him, even through his most awkward or graceless moments. that pride in their bond swells in his lungs and ryuu swears he can just breathe him in, beat for beat.
it doesn't matter if he'd been alone in a foreign place once, with how firmly tenn flows through those chambers of his heart. but when they're together, he is home.
grinning, he sweeps the backs of his knuckles over tenn's brow to push his bangs back, laying a shallow kiss against his lips. ]
All day. I want to share this day with you, and only you.
( another squeeze, to reaffirm his words. he wants this moment to last as long as possible. what if tomorrow he finds himself without ryuu and gaku? what if tomorrow he's dragged into a place that is less kind, far more brutal, and happiness might be impossible to find? it's why he lives in the now, wants to wrap himself in it, and that ryuu is just the kind of person to do it with. someone that he...
he meets ryuu's grin with his own. )
And maybe some other days, too. If it's okay.
( but first things first. he has to address the tray of food, and though he loathes to do so? tenn slides off of ryuu, moving to lift the heavy tray and place it on the floor. yeah they could ignore it but what if they made a mess... that would be super unfortunate.
it's heartfelt and a luxury both, to be able to spend the entire day like this, awash in the clear colors of synchrony with someone he adores. tenn illuminates him, bringing out all of his best. yet he feels that space in his emotions where uncertainty could live, if either of them let it - even at home, ryuu knew there was no force on heaven or earth that could really separate him from tenn and gaku. coming to lunatia first, and now here... the threat sometimes looms, that one of them could just vanish.
ryuu treasures any time with tenn, but with a tomorrow out of his hands and less certain than he'd like, it makes him all too aware that he would never take this time for granted. so while he feels emptier than ever when tenn lets go to dutifully move the tray, it means they can resume what they were doing knowing they won't fling a tray of food all over the bed.
(because he would absolutely be the one fussing over the laundry) ]
Okay, here I go. [ invited back up, he crawls into the bed proper with a patient exhale, sapphire's energizing manna circling in him, ready to be matched to tenn's again. ] I'll make you something else later?
[ much later, if the glimmer in his eye when he settles against the pillows is anything to go by. ]
( how lucky he is to have ryuu. to have gaku. to have them both here. that he should always count his blessings, to know that whenever he may need someone's support he won't just find one pair of hands but two waiting for him to grab onto. and he would do the same thing for them; by no means would he ever leave them hanging. they deserve his best at any given time and that's why he will always save something in the tank--- even if it means being in danger himself.
as soon as ryuu is up in a more... normal position? he sees that sparkle. his heart flutters. imagine all of the people who wish they could be where he is right now! though he could easily take a spot right next to the other man, it'll probably be more comfortable taking that same place that he did before: straddling ryuu. practically sitting on him, knees digging into the mattress right on the outside of the other's hips.
when he's comfortable, he slides forward--- chest against chest until his face reaches ryuu's. )
You can make me anything you want. ( a gentle laugh as he places a hand softly on ryuu's cheek. ) I know I'll enjoy it.
( an understatement, just like how he feels about ryuu. )
[ their closeness is like a tether to everything ryuu loves. the sensation of tenn's body sliding up to fit with his again is so stunning it makes his insides flip right into the hollow of his throat. there's no diminishing how strongly he reacts to him, breath staying in his lungs and skin racing with a sentimental heat that only tenn can provoke. tenn has always been right there... in front of him, cleaving open their future like a shooting star racing across a night sky, like a sword glowing in an uncertain darkness. yet now he's right here, still in front of him, but just -
close. so very close. ryuu's arms rise to circle around the other idol's slender waist, giving him a little tug upwards against him. just to take some of his weight, to make sure he's comfortable on his knees like this. ]
Yeah, I know. [ ryuu leans his face into tenn's hand, cheek blush-warm and smile even warmer. he turns his head aside to press his lips into the heel of tenn's palm. ] But I like when you tell me what you want, too.
[ it's not as though tenn has ever been very shy about his expectations, but that instance and this one are shaping up to be very different. ryuu has come to respect how fiercely tenn guards what's in his heart, because when he can see it like this, it becomes all the more important to treasure it. ]
( he's fully aware of his breathing, of his heart. of how time slows to a crawl, where he can feel every blood vessel contract and expand. a heat that blossoms from under his skin and all over, from his ears down to his toes. tenn's body feels hypersensitive, electricity dancing along his veins and thrumming with an anticipation he couldn't have forseen. )
I want... you.
( isn't it obvious? maybe it isn't. maybe tenn has never been so direct, wanting to avoid any heartbreak. wanting to avoid future heartbreak, to not be so close that he would experience the same feelings that he had so long ago. it's different when it's not family but at this point, TRIGGER is even more than just family. stronger. thicker than blood.
who he guards... who he wants to protect. who he wants to take with him all the way.
he replaces that palm with his own lips, capturing ryuu's with urgency. with need. he's overflowing with that kind of energy, the kind that has been building up and spilling all over the place. that as he leans forward, he arches his back slightly--- to firmly press his lower half against ryuu's. )
[ it's the kind of kiss that makes him inhale when their lips meet, instinct pouring over into any of the spaces left behind. tenn may always be trying to teach him moderation, but in truth - ryuu has never had to hold back with him. it's part of what makes them so powerful, that unleashing of all his potential, his brightness. with his synchrony in full swing the closer and more honest with their desires they are, it's like tenn's heart is part of his own. ]
Okay... [ his chest is still hitched, voice low between soft kisses. ] Okay.
[ he breathes out against tenn's mouth finally, nose to nose. his body relaxes into the same space as tenn, meeting the heated space between his legs with an unsubtle surge of his hips. it is... lust, yes, but so many other things. ryuu keeps one of his arms secure around tenn's waist and moves the other between them, reaching up to cup his cheek with a reverent affection. he marks the nature of his thoughts with kisses, enjoying the glimmers of manna he feels run through each one. he seeks out all the little ways their mouths can fit together.
only when his eyes flutter open to gaze at tenn a moment does he stop, thumb drawing along his cheekbone. his eyes and his intent are both clear. ]
I'll keep going, then... [ he nuzzles his brow. ] Move how you want to.
[ it's fine if he overflows. nobody's watching but him. ]
( he leads, then. it's obviously something he's used to, but it's a little different in this situation. just like dancing, you move a certain way when you hear a specific rhythm, you know your options and you can pick something without hesitation--- it's inexperience that causes microdelays. those brief pauses of indecision because of not knowing every option, not wanting to disappoint. not wanting to misdirect or assume. tenn may have many things at his disposal, but intimacy is still difficult for him. even those good feelings, that surge of pleasure from the touch of skin and the desire to want more and more from ryuu are tempered by self-made expectations.
tenn again, drags his crotch against ryuu's--- a slight mismatch of height makes it slightly difficult but he does his best. his intent is also clear; the flow of blood heading into his lower half, a lightheadedness making him want to tuck himself deeper against ryuu, to find those places that are warm and waiting for him. that he has to wiggle his waist, to try to work those pajama bottoms off of him. that exposed skin is better for this and that it's inevitable that they won't be clothed for too long, and...
are they going too fast? have they been going too slow? was there even a pace before this? just the fact they can indulge in this is already amazing to him... )
[ an indulgence like this would come maybe once in a thousand lifetimes, and maybe never, if they hadn't ended up on this same star, if ryuu hadn't gained the confidence to try - ryuu leads if it means he won't let this chance slip through his fingers.
it's hard enough to let go of the kiss they're sharing when synchrony lets him feel just how close tenn wants to be, but all the wiggling around makes him smile in a way that near breaks it, a quiet laugh caught in the back of this throat. there is a pace and this is still part of it. as if this is also a dance, he fills in the spaces left for him, merging indecision with surety, supporting tenn all the while. he hooks a thumb against his waistband and helps him pull his legs free of his pajama bottoms. with that same courage, ryuu doesn't even pause before his hands are smoothing up tenn's stomach, rounding to his sides and rucking his shirt up as encouragement for tenn to lift his arms and slough it off entirely.
ryuu has to pull back for him to do so, and in that moment he's almost caught off his guard by the intimacy of it, the sudden baring of tenn's whole body. it's not that they've never been the changing room or the baths, but this - is something else. soft angles and tousled hair, bright eyes, flushed skin, the weight of his arousal now visible.
it's really taking him a long moment to sit there and just admire him. ]
( he wouldn't call himself pale, but certainly someone like tenn would need to have flawless skin and a complexion to match an angelic visage... to make even the pink stand out, to make every other color pop. and here, his form certainly pales in comparison to ryuu's. no way could he stand up to his partner's body. it's the perfect one that fits ryuu the best, strong and capable, sturdy and toned. and while ryuu's hands are helping him slip his shirt off, the gem stands out proudly nearest the hollow of his throat. )
You've never seen me like this, have you?
( that's what ryuu's face says. what he isn't saying. he feels a little self-conscious, baring his everything, but... it probably stands that this was a long time coming. with a soft smile and half-lidded eyes, he leans forward and gently takes hold of ryuu's head, hands combing through his hair before pulling him forward slightly. all the while, he bears down against ryuu's crotch and thighs, searching for the right kind of tension and places to apply some pressure. )
[ tenn's fingers glide through his hair and carve through his thoughts, leaving behind the affectionate impression of light and heat. like staring at something a little too bright for a little too long. ryuu shakes his head gently in his grasp, cheeks radiant with color - he's never seen him like this before, but his synchrony would give him away even if tenn hadn't sensed it of his own accord, sharp as always: it's better. better than anything he could have imagined on his own. his smile comes hushed on his features as tenn draws him in and he ducks his head to press his face into the side of his neck. he places his lips there, catching the fiery glint of his ruby out of the corner of his eye. ]
Yeah. You're beautiful.
[ he means it, pressing the words into his skin. in truth, tenn doesn't have to work very hard to figure out how to touch him. every squeeze of his thighs and grind of his hips makes his groin jolt pleasantly, the sensation fizzling tightly in his belly. how attracted he is to him now that they're standing on this edge emerges physically in the swelling shape of him, heavy and aching beneath his waistband. his hips cant up between tenn's thighs to give him a taste of what he's doing, letting him feel him through his clothes first.
it's hot, and his skin is tingling - ryuu leans back, rolling his light morning cover-up off his shoulders first. he wants more, but if he doesn't try to take it at least a little slow, all his stamina might not amount to anything. ]
( he hasn't... well, he can't say that this was some kind of unfortunate side effect of unintentional movements. no, it's exactly what he's been looking and feeling for with the underside of his thighs. something that stirs and forces further coloration of his cheeks, that perhaps he's taking it too far? or that he's never taken it far enough, and that they've both wanted this and yet tenn has always pushed those thoughts away. a fear of these desires that could derail his progress, throw TRIGGER into a spiral, and perhaps never allow for a recovery.
his thoughts are always racing. sometimes, they're exactly what is needed. right now? they're not.
it's not that ryuu's compliment is being questioned. no, it's... he knows that ryuu's always thought that. but for him to say it here, it makes his heart swell among other things, and tenn has to remember to breathe in the presence of someone so handsome and that is all his on this special day. )
Okay.
( he can barely whisper. tenn doesn't want to move at first, but slowly does. leaning back, he can get a better look. appreciate who he's with! love who he's with, with his eyes. )
[ in truth, he's also a little reluctant to let tenn stray too far from him. but his weight is still on his legs by the time he pulls back, and ryuu uses to space to shrug off his cover-up and let it pool behind him. his shirt comes next, hems peeled up from his hips and thrown over his head in a motion that seems both too fast and too slow. that taste of air on his skin makes him shiver a little despite feeling so warm, and for now he stops there, leaving his sweatpants where they are. it's his turn to let his breath empty from his lungs, shortly and yet carefully - he has those thoughts too. maybe moreso than ever, what it means to chase his desires, how they might ripple out and affect so many others besides just himself.
but looking at tenn, he can't feel anything other than a sweeping sense of pride and joy, of comfort. doubt eases, thoughts soften. whatever they do, he knows it'll only make them stronger. ryuu has always believed that, but the pulse of his synchrony is alive with it, letting his emotions flow as freely as tenn will allow him.
he still manages to flash an expression that's almost sheepish despite being only half-bare. yet he doesn't let it stop him from beckoning tenn over again, long arms sliding against his waist and curling around him again. closer... he wants to be so much closer. ]
This is always the best part.
[ not always the act, but the lead up, the electrifying first touch of skin on skin when he embraces him again, a sensation that's both warm and cool, soothing and stunning. ]
( he's receiving a show, and tenn is more than thankful for it. it's a god send. a blessing. ryuu is all of those things and more to him. that he wants to touch every centimeter of skin on ryuu's body, leave no place touched--- with his fingers or lips or whatever he has at his disposal. tenn may be beautiful, but ryuu is handsome and unmatched. is he ogling? definitely. will ryuu notice? probably. his mouth agape, tenn can't help but reach out for ryuu as soon as he's back within arm's reach, instead being brought in close.
the feeling of skin on skin. of nothing separating them, of the sensation of his nerves tingling and burning but not in a painful way. no, everything about this is sensual and intense and his breathing is coming in shallow bursts. quick little huffs. all almost unmatched by the raw emotions circulating through him because of the synchrony. will ryuu taste strawberry? cinnamon? something sweet and cloying because of how those may perceive him... and perhaps the taste of something minty and dry, of how he feels he can be. cold and sharp. )
No... this is.
( hungry. tenn is hungry. for attention, for love. for ryuu. he leaves no time for a proper reaction; he is in there, lips and teeth, tongue and more breathy noises. hands on ryuu's face before they again reach around and lock behind at his neck before going lower. to feel about his back, touch the shoulder blades. explore with reckless abandon. )
[ with tenn, it's never felt selfish to want to press his whole body, heart, and soul into his hands. tenn could handle it. and ryuu had always hoped that one day, tenn would give enough of himself over to him too, that he would trust him enough with his ordinary hands and his ordinary heart. this is it; the feeling of comfort and gratitude thunders through him, unmistakable. that trust he'd sought after is overwhelming, a sensation that rises in the warm hollows of his chest, filling it with wonder and passion. it moves everything in him in such a way that tenn would fit anywhere, perfectly, as if ryuu was made for him. his skin near hums at the contact and ryuu delves into the kisses with equal focus now that there's so little separating them... his tongue slides deep as he locks them in a kiss that threatens to make him see stars, minding perfect teeth, the overlay of lips, and how eagerly his breath comes.
he wants to explore too now that tenn is in his arms, sea-worn palms traveling up the curve of his back to ease at the muscle with his fingers, squeezing and rubbing warmth into his body. up, up, kneading against thin shoulders, then back down again, lower this time to get at the tension in the small of his back. briefly, his palms smooth down to cup over the shape of his ass in his lap, something that makes color flare in his face as soon as he's done it. with tenn, it's like he's experiencing this for the first time all over again.
but there's more than that, and he moves to his splayed legs, fingers smoothing up and over, from outer thigh to inner. it's so much hotter - he can already feel the sheen of sweat on tenn's skin. for one moment, his kisses shallow out in time with the tips of his fingers coming to dance along the underside of his cock, pushing up gently against his arousal to feel the pleasant twitch of it.
ryuu pauses there, eyes fluttering open to watch for tenn's reaction before pursuing a stronger touch. ]
( it leaves him reeling and begging for more. warmth grows from the inside out; from the center of his chest to his fingers and toes, up and down his spine. the feeling of ryuu's tongue against his own and occupying his mouth, causes him to tremble in a way that if it had been anyone else, he might find some kind of sturdiness as to not show off that kind of tenderness... that sensitivity that could make him appear less like some kind of unfeeling and faraway star and more of some kind of touch-hungry and feelings-thirsty idol.
an explosion of light. that's what he would call it. that he's never been touch starved... no, tenn has been the model of excellence and some kind of repression. that despite being around the most attractive of people, he could keep a kind of bitterness that would allow him to act without letting anything get in his way. but this is where that curtain is quickly shed and lit on fire, thrown away to smolder into ashes, so that he finally live a life that allows him to be... passionate without having to be detached in some ways. )
... R-Ryuu...
( he gasps for air, because he is drowning. perhaps not in the conventional sense, but his nerves... his lungs are burning. the air gets caught, hitched in his throat, when the spark of something more than just the ephemeral brush of pleasure that the synchrony brings. arousal, pure and simple. something that he can't communicate with words that easily despite it all... no, it's the physical reaction that does it for him. that he very much does feel his dick twitch, spasm against the cruelest fingertips, jerks his hips against it...
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no subject
synchrony is a powerful thing when let loose to overflow like ryuu tends to do, but his body positively thrums with an excitement that's all his own too. that elation, that love - it was all already there. so much that he's almost a little clumsy with it, finding it difficult to just simply kiss him back with how much he's smiling.
there are any number of other emotions threatening to overflow: a deep sense of trust and belonging, a protectiveness that wants to guard his heart, that wants to make this all his. his once-outstretched arms circle about tenn's waist, tugging him in closer and urging him to climb up onto the mattress, knees first. he will remember the breakfast tray... later, maybe.
later, when he's not wanting to squeeze tenn to his chest for all he's worth, ready to put his lips on every precious inch of his body. ]
Sorry... [ he thinks to remark around happy kisses, skin hot and heart thudding. ] It's just -
[ he has a lot of feelings, you know? ]
no subject
the ruby covets. it desires and won't let others have what it wants. and so, in a way, ruby fits him perfectly. no way will he let anyone else near ryuu if he can help it. this only enables those feelings even further, as he climbs on and lets his knees rest against the outside of ryuu's legs. the tray wobbles precariously, still holding all that food, but that's the least of their problems right now. )
... you don't have to say anything. ( because he feels it. the urge has never been stronger, for touch. for affection. for... )
And you don't have to apologize. You can always ask.
( slowly, he presses ryuu back so that he can rest on the bed as tenn splays out on top, lips anchoring them together. )
no subject
but he's learned how to do that too, how to match tenn beat for beat. they're partners, after all. a deep hum of affirmation rolls in his chest as his shoulder blades hit the mattress and dig in for comfort. arms tightening, he pulls tenn in closer, then up, from straddling his lap to his hips in a drag of bodies that upends clothes and bridges heights.
it's a little shameless, how eager he is in spite of being so gentle and well-behaved with tenn. he just knows him in so many different ways that he can't help but to want to know this too - delicate wrists crossed at the back of his neck, the softness of his mouth and the muscle he's cultivated in his dancer's thighs where they pin on either side of him.
if he doesn't have to say anything, he'll ask in a way that lets this thing continue to unfurl around them, breaking the kiss with a deep breath only to angle in for another, the seam of his lips parting to invite tenn in, to let him explore too. ]
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he really wants ryuu.
a center can't be in the center without checks and balances. invisible weights that keep him from going one way or the other. he needs them. without someone occupying his hands, he could easily be off-balance. he could lose his way, fall off the wire that he precariously dangles from. but no--- he has ryuu. he has gaku. and with them he can't possibly fail. together, they can't.
there comes a moment where he has to break the kiss. to gasp for some air, while simultaneously letting out a breathless laugh. it's relief, a release, a pressure valve being twisted and turned. )
Ryuu... ( he nudges their foreheads together. ) ... I hope I didn't make you wait too long.
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or any of the other things going on to charm his breath right from his lungs - he's going to think about that kiss for days. intense heat, slick tongue, the tang of strawberry and affection... breathing is really important, so he doesn't protest the absence of it, but his eyes are clear when he opens them to look at tenn, arms settled fondly around his body. for a moment, he just enjoys the weight settled on him and all the little things that come with it: beating hearts, the rise and fall of chests, the slight friction when he steeples one of his legs for balance. it's wonderful.
and his face is so pink by the time their brows meet. tenn probably clocked him instantly, but he can't find it in him to hold back now. he has to laugh too, equally breathless, a little gravelly when his tone dips low. ]
You didn't. I think our timing's always been pretty good...
[ in that there's very few things that ever feel wrong, when tenn is concerned. he gives him another happy squeeze, all but nuzzling his face. ]
How do you feel?
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( that's how he feels. free. free of what? that's a complicated question. but he's never felt more able to do whatever he wants. even if that thing is to do exactly what they're used to doing. it's just having that choice that makes him feel that he's... not necessarily in control, but knowing that he only has himself to answer to, is what excites him. to continue doing what he does best with TRIGGER, with both gaku and ryuu, fills his heart with happiness. )
To be with you.
( there are no worries, no scandals, nothing that screams inappropriate or improper. he can be with ryuu on this day without some kind of weight on his shoulders that drag him down. the squeeze elicits another bright noise, a mix of a laugh and a huff that has tenn press his lips against ryuu's jaw and chin and make his eyes sparkle and dance with a smile accompanying it. )
And what about you?
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Really happy.
[ that's really what it is, in its purest and simplest form. ryuu isn't a complicated person in spite of the life he's lead; giving up coastal winds for the harsh and drenching lights of tokyo should have been more of a leap of faith than it actually felt like. there were difficult days, of course... there were days when he was hurt, times when he was frustrated. it was because of him that they'd lost everything and had to start over. but in his mind, he was always exactly where he wanted to be, doing what he was meant to do. tenn and gaku had given him that, like they were just holding the keys to one another's locks, waiting for them to show up.
like this, ryuu feels that more strongly than ever. they really are a perfect fit. where he'd once been thrumming with the force of his own pulse, he's calmed down enough to just enjoy the natural little touches dancing all over his body. his arms loosen just enough to skirt a palm up the curve of tenn's back, fondly scritching at him through his pajamas. ]
At first, it didn't feel like I should be glad to be away from home at all... sometimes, it still feels like that. But if I'd never gotten the chance to do this...
[ well. he would have regrets, wouldn't he? ]
It feels right. I'm really happy you're here, Tenn.
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perhaps through ryuu's happiness, he can be too.
he says it feels right and tenn agrees wholeheartedly. not with words and not with his hands though he could easily do that too, but with his lips. with his mouth and his eyes. )
I don't think there's anywhere else I want to be.
( on a strange planet, in a strange gem-based world? he can find peace in ryuu's arms. it's home. )
For my birthday, I want you to stay in bed with me. Is that okay?
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it doesn't matter if he'd been alone in a foreign place once, with how firmly tenn flows through those chambers of his heart. but when they're together, he is home.
grinning, he sweeps the backs of his knuckles over tenn's brow to push his bangs back, laying a shallow kiss against his lips. ]
All day?
[ low but lively - a little hopeful. ]
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( another squeeze, to reaffirm his words. he wants this moment to last as long as possible. what if tomorrow he finds himself without ryuu and gaku? what if tomorrow he's dragged into a place that is less kind, far more brutal, and happiness might be impossible to find? it's why he lives in the now, wants to wrap himself in it, and that ryuu is just the kind of person to do it with. someone that he...
he meets ryuu's grin with his own. )
And maybe some other days, too. If it's okay.
( but first things first. he has to address the tray of food, and though he loathes to do so? tenn slides off of ryuu, moving to lift the heavy tray and place it on the floor. yeah they could ignore it but what if they made a mess... that would be super unfortunate.
when he climbs back on? )
Move up here.
( to like, where the pillows are. )
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[ always, more like it.
it's heartfelt and a luxury both, to be able to spend the entire day like this, awash in the clear colors of synchrony with someone he adores. tenn illuminates him, bringing out all of his best. yet he feels that space in his emotions where uncertainty could live, if either of them let it - even at home, ryuu knew there was no force on heaven or earth that could really separate him from tenn and gaku. coming to lunatia first, and now here... the threat sometimes looms, that one of them could just vanish.
ryuu treasures any time with tenn, but with a tomorrow out of his hands and less certain than he'd like, it makes him all too aware that he would never take this time for granted. so while he feels emptier than ever when tenn lets go to dutifully move the tray, it means they can resume what they were doing knowing they won't fling a tray of food all over the bed.
(because he would absolutely be the one fussing over the laundry) ]
Okay, here I go. [ invited back up, he crawls into the bed proper with a patient exhale, sapphire's energizing manna circling in him, ready to be matched to tenn's again. ] I'll make you something else later?
[ much later, if the glimmer in his eye when he settles against the pillows is anything to go by. ]
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as soon as ryuu is up in a more... normal position? he sees that sparkle. his heart flutters. imagine all of the people who wish they could be where he is right now! though he could easily take a spot right next to the other man, it'll probably be more comfortable taking that same place that he did before: straddling ryuu. practically sitting on him, knees digging into the mattress right on the outside of the other's hips.
when he's comfortable, he slides forward--- chest against chest until his face reaches ryuu's. )
You can make me anything you want. ( a gentle laugh as he places a hand softly on ryuu's cheek. ) I know I'll enjoy it.
( an understatement, just like how he feels about ryuu. )
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close. so very close. ryuu's arms rise to circle around the other idol's slender waist, giving him a little tug upwards against him. just to take some of his weight, to make sure he's comfortable on his knees like this. ]
Yeah, I know. [ ryuu leans his face into tenn's hand, cheek blush-warm and smile even warmer. he turns his head aside to press his lips into the heel of tenn's palm. ] But I like when you tell me what you want, too.
[ it's not as though tenn has ever been very shy about his expectations, but that instance and this one are shaping up to be very different. ryuu has come to respect how fiercely tenn guards what's in his heart, because when he can see it like this, it becomes all the more important to treasure it. ]
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I want... you.
( isn't it obvious? maybe it isn't. maybe tenn has never been so direct, wanting to avoid any heartbreak. wanting to avoid future heartbreak, to not be so close that he would experience the same feelings that he had so long ago. it's different when it's not family but at this point, TRIGGER is even more than just family. stronger. thicker than blood.
who he guards... who he wants to protect. who he wants to take with him all the way.
he replaces that palm with his own lips, capturing ryuu's with urgency. with need. he's overflowing with that kind of energy, the kind that has been building up and spilling all over the place. that as he leans forward, he arches his back slightly--- to firmly press his lower half against ryuu's. )
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Okay... [ his chest is still hitched, voice low between soft kisses. ] Okay.
[ he breathes out against tenn's mouth finally, nose to nose. his body relaxes into the same space as tenn, meeting the heated space between his legs with an unsubtle surge of his hips. it is... lust, yes, but so many other things. ryuu keeps one of his arms secure around tenn's waist and moves the other between them, reaching up to cup his cheek with a reverent affection. he marks the nature of his thoughts with kisses, enjoying the glimmers of manna he feels run through each one. he seeks out all the little ways their mouths can fit together.
only when his eyes flutter open to gaze at tenn a moment does he stop, thumb drawing along his cheekbone. his eyes and his intent are both clear. ]
I'll keep going, then... [ he nuzzles his brow. ] Move how you want to.
[ it's fine if he overflows. nobody's watching but him. ]
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tenn again, drags his crotch against ryuu's--- a slight mismatch of height makes it slightly difficult but he does his best. his intent is also clear; the flow of blood heading into his lower half, a lightheadedness making him want to tuck himself deeper against ryuu, to find those places that are warm and waiting for him. that he has to wiggle his waist, to try to work those pajama bottoms off of him. that exposed skin is better for this and that it's inevitable that they won't be clothed for too long, and...
are they going too fast? have they been going too slow? was there even a pace before this? just the fact they can indulge in this is already amazing to him... )
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it's hard enough to let go of the kiss they're sharing when synchrony lets him feel just how close tenn wants to be, but all the wiggling around makes him smile in a way that near breaks it, a quiet laugh caught in the back of this throat. there is a pace and this is still part of it. as if this is also a dance, he fills in the spaces left for him, merging indecision with surety, supporting tenn all the while. he hooks a thumb against his waistband and helps him pull his legs free of his pajama bottoms. with that same courage, ryuu doesn't even pause before his hands are smoothing up tenn's stomach, rounding to his sides and rucking his shirt up as encouragement for tenn to lift his arms and slough it off entirely.
ryuu has to pull back for him to do so, and in that moment he's almost caught off his guard by the intimacy of it, the sudden baring of tenn's whole body. it's not that they've never been the changing room or the baths, but this - is something else. soft angles and tousled hair, bright eyes, flushed skin, the weight of his arousal now visible.
it's really taking him a long moment to sit there and just admire him. ]
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You've never seen me like this, have you?
( that's what ryuu's face says. what he isn't saying. he feels a little self-conscious, baring his everything, but... it probably stands that this was a long time coming. with a soft smile and half-lidded eyes, he leans forward and gently takes hold of ryuu's head, hands combing through his hair before pulling him forward slightly. all the while, he bears down against ryuu's crotch and thighs, searching for the right kind of tension and places to apply some pressure. )
I hope it's everything that you've expected.
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Yeah. You're beautiful.
[ he means it, pressing the words into his skin. in truth, tenn doesn't have to work very hard to figure out how to touch him. every squeeze of his thighs and grind of his hips makes his groin jolt pleasantly, the sensation fizzling tightly in his belly. how attracted he is to him now that they're standing on this edge emerges physically in the swelling shape of him, heavy and aching beneath his waistband. his hips cant up between tenn's thighs to give him a taste of what he's doing, letting him feel him through his clothes first.
it's hot, and his skin is tingling - ryuu leans back, rolling his light morning cover-up off his shoulders first. he wants more, but if he doesn't try to take it at least a little slow, all his stamina might not amount to anything. ]
Sit up for a minute, okay?
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his thoughts are always racing. sometimes, they're exactly what is needed. right now? they're not.
it's not that ryuu's compliment is being questioned. no, it's... he knows that ryuu's always thought that. but for him to say it here, it makes his heart swell among other things, and tenn has to remember to breathe in the presence of someone so handsome and that is all his on this special day. )
Okay.
( he can barely whisper. tenn doesn't want to move at first, but slowly does. leaning back, he can get a better look. appreciate who he's with! love who he's with, with his eyes. )
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but looking at tenn, he can't feel anything other than a sweeping sense of pride and joy, of comfort. doubt eases, thoughts soften. whatever they do, he knows it'll only make them stronger. ryuu has always believed that, but the pulse of his synchrony is alive with it, letting his emotions flow as freely as tenn will allow him.
he still manages to flash an expression that's almost sheepish despite being only half-bare. yet he doesn't let it stop him from beckoning tenn over again, long arms sliding against his waist and curling around him again. closer... he wants to be so much closer. ]
This is always the best part.
[ not always the act, but the lead up, the electrifying first touch of skin on skin when he embraces him again, a sensation that's both warm and cool, soothing and stunning. ]
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the feeling of skin on skin. of nothing separating them, of the sensation of his nerves tingling and burning but not in a painful way. no, everything about this is sensual and intense and his breathing is coming in shallow bursts. quick little huffs. all almost unmatched by the raw emotions circulating through him because of the synchrony. will ryuu taste strawberry? cinnamon? something sweet and cloying because of how those may perceive him... and perhaps the taste of something minty and dry, of how he feels he can be. cold and sharp. )
No... this is.
( hungry. tenn is hungry. for attention, for love. for ryuu. he leaves no time for a proper reaction; he is in there, lips and teeth, tongue and more breathy noises. hands on ryuu's face before they again reach around and lock behind at his neck before going lower. to feel about his back, touch the shoulder blades. explore with reckless abandon. )
look not at my timestamps
he wants to explore too now that tenn is in his arms, sea-worn palms traveling up the curve of his back to ease at the muscle with his fingers, squeezing and rubbing warmth into his body. up, up, kneading against thin shoulders, then back down again, lower this time to get at the tension in the small of his back. briefly, his palms smooth down to cup over the shape of his ass in his lap, something that makes color flare in his face as soon as he's done it. with tenn, it's like he's experiencing this for the first time all over again.
but there's more than that, and he moves to his splayed legs, fingers smoothing up and over, from outer thigh to inner. it's so much hotter - he can already feel the sheen of sweat on tenn's skin. for one moment, his kisses shallow out in time with the tips of his fingers coming to dance along the underside of his cock, pushing up gently against his arousal to feel the pleasant twitch of it.
ryuu pauses there, eyes fluttering open to watch for tenn's reaction before pursuing a stronger touch. ]
idk what those are
an explosion of light. that's what he would call it. that he's never been touch starved... no, tenn has been the model of excellence and some kind of repression. that despite being around the most attractive of people, he could keep a kind of bitterness that would allow him to act without letting anything get in his way. but this is where that curtain is quickly shed and lit on fire, thrown away to smolder into ashes, so that he finally live a life that allows him to be... passionate without having to be detached in some ways. )
... R-Ryuu...
( he gasps for air, because he is drowning. perhaps not in the conventional sense, but his nerves... his lungs are burning. the air gets caught, hitched in his throat, when the spark of something more than just the ephemeral brush of pleasure that the synchrony brings. arousal, pure and simple. something that he can't communicate with words that easily despite it all... no, it's the physical reaction that does it for him. that he very much does feel his dick twitch, spasm against the cruelest fingertips, jerks his hips against it...
he's on fire. practically luminescent. )