[ ryuu gives a quiet laugh at that, looking admonished. it's more refreshing without the sugar! and also, that vase was on sale at the crab store, he had to. he also has crab oven mitts, and those will leave his kitchen on the day he dies, and only then.
as it is, he goes about pulling down two cups. ]
Sorry, sorry! It's just that I got used to how lively things were at home... I was thinking to myself, it's strange, living by myself again.
It's [ not the same ] been alright! I've been keeping busy enough. Maybe it just makes the moments at home all the quieter, though?
[ with a tinge of thoughtfulness. it doesn't take long for him to get two pieces of cake doled out alongside two cups of tea. somehow he balances it all when he brings it around to the couch, setting everything on the coffee table. ]
[ luckily, ryuu is used to tenn's dead eyed judgmental stares. ]
I'm fine.
[ it's almost automatic, the way that response slips out of his mouth, even when tenn reaches over to take one of the cups from the coffee table - the cup is warm, not too hot to be uncomfortable to hold for a moment to warm his hands before he takes a sip from it, then setting it back on the table.
it's still just the tiniest bit too hot. ]
It's good that you're keeping busy. I saw one of your magazines the other day.
[ that's about what ryuu expected, but it doesn't stop him from being heartened at the sight of him taking a sip of his tea. baby steps.
with his own plate and cup set before him, ryuu sinks into a seat beside tenn with a chuckle, thanking his lucky stars that it had to have been a normal advertisement that he saw. tenn might have an expert poker face, but ryuu is used to parsing out all the shades of his judgment... ]
Did you? I've been able to try it out a lot more recently! I was a bit worried no one would buy them... [ because who is he to a bunch of prismals? besides that guy who shoved a whole boba between his pecs, but no one needs to know that ] But I thought I should try to land work similar to things I'd do at home.
[ also thankfully, tenn doesn't know about the boba between his pecs thing either.
or at least, not yet. ]
Most of the rack was gone when I saw it. [ ever so matter-of-fact, like tenn usually is, although there's just the slightest hint of a playful, secretive smile - the same kind that tenn usually gives from the stage, towards their fans. even if it's not as bright, just a hint of fatigue showing through. ] Still popular here, I see.
[ that's a good thing.
the sofa sinks just that little bit with the addition of ryuu's weight onto it, so tenn shifts along with it, just to make himself comfortable again, even if it means having to manoeuvre a little bit, finally deciding to just.
sit cross legged on the sofa with the cushion in his lap instead of sitting normally. it's fine, he's pretty sure ryuu wouldn't mind. ]
Is that so? [ ryuu glances over at tenn, eyes all alight with this knowledge. there's a genuine gladness to his expression, even if someone with half of his talents would probably be more self-assured. it just relieves ryuu to hear he's doing a good job. the comment gets him chuckling, body naturally shifting with tenn's movement as he switches his seat on the couch. ...cute, he really does look his age sometimes. ] Well, I didn't do it for my sake!
[ with a quieter smile, he picks up his teacup. ]
Whether or not you or Gaku arrived here, I decided it was too important of a time for TRIGGER to not be doing my best too. Whatever it took, I wanted people here to know us...
[ even if it was only him here, it's never really just only him. ]
I had an easier time than I thought! There's a lot to promote here.
[ but when ryuu brightens up, it's difficult for tenn not to, returning ryuu's smile with a small one of his own. for all the gravitas that tenn has, as trigger's centre, as charismatic as tenn can be--
there's something about how ryuu's expressions are earnest, honest enough that it's hard enough not to be swept up in it, too. contagious, tenn thinks to himself, even as he props his arms on his lap and rests his chin on top of his hands. it's kind of hard to stifle a yawn like this, but it passes quickly enough, and it's definitely not a long drawn out one. ]
You're doing fine, I think.
[ it sounds nonchalant, but high praise coming from tenn. ]
Have they asked you to star in beer commercials yet? [ gentle teasing, because he can. why not. tenn's eyes flutter closed for a moment. ] We're all here now, right, so I don't think it should--
[ --be difficult to find more work, is what he wants to say, but he's
(exhausted)
nodded off, body tilting a little off centre, going off balance in a way that there's a real threat of him toppling off the couch if ryuu doesn't catch him. ]
[ by now, ryuu's learned to read tenn's shades of nonchalance. even something that sounds unaffected has color to it, has a depth and weight ryuu can draw from. hearing it makes his chest warm - not just because it's praise, but because it's tenn sitting here beside him, telling him so.
just this small thing, and ryuu feels as though he knows where he stands in relation to what feels like home. ]
No beer commercials! [ a slight huff of a laugh. ] Though...
[ should he tell him about the ad he just shot? it hasn't hit the shelves yet, but maybe it would be best that it doesn't come as a surprise, if they're going to start work as three again. ryuu opens his mouth, but it's just as he catches tenn's halted words, his slump forward. ]
- Tenn?!
[ surprise floods his expression as he ducks forward on instinct, arm looping around him to keep him from falling forward completely. he tugs him back up, closer to him, worry overtaking shock. ]
tenn's breathing is calm and even, which is the one thing that gives away that he's actually asleep rather than sick, although he's definitely a little bit less warm than he usually is.
the way ryuu tugs him back up isn't enough to wake him just yet, but it is enough for him to lean in, his head conveniently resting on ryuu's shoulder, glasses knocked slightly askew. ]
[ once the initial surprise fades, ryuu is still left sitting there with tenn carefully cradled in his arms, confusion pressed into his brow as he really tries to look him over. just to be certain. it's true that he seems pretty peaceful, those breaths sounding out evenly against him, but then again - even if he were feeling really unwell, he'd usually try to fight it out first.
unless he has been fighting it this whole time, and ryuu hadn't known about it. it's enough to get his lips press into a downturn. he releases the breath he's been holding, testing how he can shift without jostling him too much. ]
Tenn...
[ he can really only think of one thing that'd wreck someone's stamina that fast. ]
[ it's just tenn's stubbornness catching up with him, really.
that, and the chroma exhaustion, but ryuu has probably figured that out by now.
but the answer to that - just a little bit. tenn's never really been a very heavy sleeper anyway, so when ryuu shifts, he's bound to move a little bit along with ryuu, but it's really when ryuu calls his name that pulls any kind of bigger reaction: a half asleep sound and tenn shifting to bury his face into the warmth of ryuu's shoulder, remarkably catlike. ]
[ it wasn't the reaction he was expecting. suddenly, ryuu isn't sure what he was expecting at all, given the way he goes completely still when tenn draws closer to him rather than pushing himself away. it's partly wonder - ryuu stopping to watch the nuzzle into his shoulder fade back into comfortable silence, and partly ryuu not wanting to disturb him again. tenn is usually so strong, but this isn't something someone can just overcome on willpower and stubbornness alone.
he's a little torn. for one, tenn's sleeping face is so angelic it actually makes his chest feel all weak on the inside. and he's always wanted tenn to lean on him this way, but maybe, well... maybe the circumstances put a spin on it he can't entirely be happy about. for him, chroma isn't too difficult a thing to adapt to, but for someone like tenn?
ryuu's gaze flicks from his tired face resting against his shoulder down to his hand, pale, pretty fingers loose by his leg. his heart starts to pound a little.
sometimes the limit manifests in an almost-perfectly timed fall into an idolish7 member's arms while trying to make his way to their concert hall, but rarely does it manifest like this--
yeah, tenn's definitely blissfully unaware of the way ryuu is having a kind of mini-crisis right now, even with his head half tucked into the crook of ryuu's neck and hand hanging slack enough that the end of his his fingers are brushing gently against the top of the couch, near enough to ryuu's leg.
another minute shift, like tenn's trying his best to curl up into the most comfortable, the warmest position he can find without it being too awkward.
it's enough for his hand to bump against ryuu's leg, unintentionally.
[ it takes almost a full minute of steeling and mental deliberation to bring ryuu to the point where he feels like - he should, right? as much as he shifts naturally with tenn's attempts to curl into him, eventually hitting that sweet spot where nothing feels too awkwardly positioned, ryuu can't get the thought out of his mind that there's a reason why tenn is acting like this. it takes a bit of the shine away from the moment, the giddiness at having that flossy crown of his tucked so close to his neck.
concern pushes up through nervousness, making him swallow whatever apprehension he feels. they're generating a little chroma like this, but it won't be enough to make a difference, he's sure. so very gently, almost having to hold his breath to do so, ryuu shifts his arm closest to tenn and reaches for his hand.
his fingertips crawl and push themselves between the divots of his knuckles, and with a careful flex, he laces them together. ]
[ it takes a while, a moment where tenn doesn't react visibly, other than the slight furrowing of his brow.
but then,
(ryuu's hand is warm.)
the warmth is what makes tenn curl his fingers around where ryuu's laced their fingers together, squeezing lightly, and it's also the warmth that causes him to stir just a little bit, blinking up at ryuu through half-closed eyes. ]
... Ryuu?
[ it's soft, tired,
vulnerable
but to his credit, tenn doesn't immediately spring away from where he currently is, and he hasn't let go of ryuu's hand either, so. ]
[ there's a moment where ryuu is hyper aware of all the little shifts in tenn's expression, his subtle body language. it's only because he's looking, because he cares about how far is too far in a situation like this. normally he's a bit more overt in his affections, but he's talked about it a couple times here - what it means to share energy like this. it's all too easy for him to give his chroma, but it goes both ways.
he can give everything he has, but if the other person finds it difficult to accept, shouldn't he find a way to measure himself? (like tenn always tells him.)
only the sound of his name gets him flickering a glance down, somewhat guilty.
he doesn't let go either, though. ]
...sorry.
[ he really can't get his heart to calm. ]
Does that feel okay?
[ the question is soft and meandering, wondering if tenn will even verbally answer. ]
[ ryuu's always been open with his affections, and for someone like tenn, who's used to isolation and not so much to overt physical displays of affection, it can get overwhelming at times.
not this time, though. where their hands meet, tenn's slender fingers twined with ryuu's larger ones, is a warm spark, a pleasant feeling that probably is from the chroma, the energy being shared, enough that tenn unconsciously seeks out more of it, his grip tightening just minutely, probably enough for ryuu to feel it, the position of their hands shifting slightly.
tenn blinks the sleep out of his eyes, once, twice, just enough to look up at ryuu and catch the guilt painted over his features.
(....... maybe it's the drowsiness, but tenn doesn't quite know how to feel at that look.) ]
...... Did I fall asleep?
[ another rhetorical question, not quite acknowledging ryuu's question or apology - because tenn has always been good at deflecting.
but the way tenn still clutches at ryuu, doesn't make a move to disentangle himself from ryuu's hold on the couch, is telling. it's fine. they can stay like this. ]
[ tenn's reactions to him are more than ryuu expects, even when he's still lulled to that twilight place between wakefulness and sleep. and that in and of itself almost makes him feel worse, to know that his guard is down so much. how long had it taken to fully deplete that much? did he just not notice? ryuu almost can't be happy for the return gesture, though he doesn't let go of his hand - not to save his life.
his fingers tighten instead, a little squeeze as if he's trying to punctuate something he hasn't actually said yet. it's not as though it's tenn being bright-eyed and sharp-tongued, telling him to practice restraint.
it's all different. ]
You did. Tenn... it's probably your chroma, isn't it?
[ silence, for a moment, and then grudgingly, tenn nods, a brief admission of defeat, with his shoulders slumped and curling halfheartedly into the warmth of ryuu's body because it's the only thing that's kind of keeping him more than conscious right now. ]
... Maybe. [ no use in going for an outright denial or trying to play it off like it's less serious than ryuu makes it out to be. ryuu has no restraint sometimes when he comes to his affection and his concern, but it's one of the things that makes him so ryuu that tenn can't find it in himself for deny or deflect.
........ oh well. ] I may have underestimated how much I needed.
[ somewhere, buried inside that statement, is some kind of an apology. some kind.
[ that answer gets ryuu to deflate some, worry abating in a steady trickle. leave it to tenn to make it sound so blase that he actually feels comforted by it, though it helps that he's not trying to push him away either. his heart feels lighter than it should, he knows, but he can't help the feelings that bubble up around it, gentle and buoyant.
tenn pressing in close, even as an afterthought to the weakness ryuu knows he doesn't want to show, makes ryuu finally smile again. the tilt of it is so obvious - an unspoken answer to his unspoken apology. ]
That's easy to lose track of, if you're not thinking about it!
[ it's so tempting to tip the balance just like that, to touch more and offer up everything he has, but ryuu stays as he is, chin lowering. ]
If you don't mind staying like this a while, you should start to feel better soon.
W-Well... ah, I'm actually not bad at managing my chroma!
[ though it's obvious it's just because he's naturally affectionate and would find it easy enough to give the shirt right off his back if need be, he only seems to realize how it sounds after the fact. quickly, his grip tightens in reassurance, as if that wit managed to shoot right through his poor heart.
so, business as usual. ]
Only because it's something your body needs here! Just like food, or water!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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as it is, he goes about pulling down two cups. ]
Sorry, sorry! It's just that I got used to how lively things were at home... I was thinking to myself, it's strange, living by myself again.
[ infallible, as usual. ]
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I thought you'd find roommates.
[ blunt as ever, because tenn doesn't mince words. it's accompanied by a curious look over to where ryuu is busying himself in the kitchen,
and also a yawn, stifled from behind the cushion he's still clutching to his body. ]
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It's [ not the same ] been alright! I've been keeping busy enough. Maybe it just makes the moments at home all the quieter, though?
[ with a tinge of thoughtfulness. it doesn't take long for him to get two pieces of cake doled out alongside two cups of tea. somehow he balances it all when he brings it around to the couch, setting everything on the coffee table. ]
It sounds like you could use the pick-me-up.
[ he heard that yawn. ]
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I'm fine.
[ it's almost automatic, the way that response slips out of his mouth, even when tenn reaches over to take one of the cups from the coffee table - the cup is warm, not too hot to be uncomfortable to hold for a moment to warm his hands before he takes a sip from it, then setting it back on the table.
it's still just the tiniest bit too hot. ]
It's good that you're keeping busy. I saw one of your magazines the other day.
[ not a questionable one, thankfully. ]
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with his own plate and cup set before him, ryuu sinks into a seat beside tenn with a chuckle, thanking his lucky stars that it had to have been a normal advertisement that he saw. tenn might have an expert poker face, but ryuu is used to parsing out all the shades of his judgment... ]
Did you? I've been able to try it out a lot more recently! I was a bit worried no one would buy them... [ because who is he to a bunch of prismals? besides that guy who shoved a whole boba between his pecs, but no one needs to know that ] But I thought I should try to land work similar to things I'd do at home.
I got pretty lucky...!
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or at least, not yet. ]
Most of the rack was gone when I saw it. [ ever so matter-of-fact, like tenn usually is, although there's just the slightest hint of a playful, secretive smile - the same kind that tenn usually gives from the stage, towards their fans. even if it's not as bright, just a hint of fatigue showing through. ] Still popular here, I see.
[ that's a good thing.
the sofa sinks just that little bit with the addition of ryuu's weight onto it, so tenn shifts along with it, just to make himself comfortable again, even if it means having to manoeuvre a little bit, finally deciding to just.
sit cross legged on the sofa with the cushion in his lap instead of sitting normally. it's fine, he's pretty sure ryuu wouldn't mind. ]
Is it easy to find work?
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Is that so? [ ryuu glances over at tenn, eyes all alight with this knowledge. there's a genuine gladness to his expression, even if someone with half of his talents would probably be more self-assured. it just relieves ryuu to hear he's doing a good job. the comment gets him chuckling, body naturally shifting with tenn's movement as he switches his seat on the couch. ...cute, he really does look his age sometimes. ] Well, I didn't do it for my sake!
[ with a quieter smile, he picks up his teacup. ]
Whether or not you or Gaku arrived here, I decided it was too important of a time for TRIGGER to not be doing my best too. Whatever it took, I wanted people here to know us...
[ even if it was only him here, it's never really just only him. ]
I had an easier time than I thought! There's a lot to promote here.
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[ but when ryuu brightens up, it's difficult for tenn not to, returning ryuu's smile with a small one of his own. for all the gravitas that tenn has, as trigger's centre, as charismatic as tenn can be--
there's something about how ryuu's expressions are earnest, honest enough that it's hard enough not to be swept up in it, too. contagious, tenn thinks to himself, even as he props his arms on his lap and rests his chin on top of his hands. it's kind of hard to stifle a yawn like this, but it passes quickly enough, and it's definitely not a long drawn out one. ]
You're doing fine, I think.
[ it sounds nonchalant, but high praise coming from tenn. ]
Have they asked you to star in beer commercials yet? [ gentle teasing, because he can. why not. tenn's eyes flutter closed for a moment. ] We're all here now, right, so I don't think it should--
[ --be difficult to find more work, is what he wants to say, but he's
(exhausted)
nodded off, body tilting a little off centre, going off balance in a way that there's a real threat of him toppling off the couch if ryuu doesn't catch him. ]
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just this small thing, and ryuu feels as though he knows where he stands in relation to what feels like home. ]
No beer commercials! [ a slight huff of a laugh. ] Though...
[ should he tell him about the ad he just shot? it hasn't hit the shelves yet, but maybe it would be best that it doesn't come as a surprise, if they're going to start work as three again. ryuu opens his mouth, but it's just as he catches tenn's halted words, his slump forward. ]
- Tenn?!
[ surprise floods his expression as he ducks forward on instinct, arm looping around him to keep him from falling forward completely. he tugs him back up, closer to him, worry overtaking shock. ]
What's wrong? Do you feel sick?
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asleep
tenn's breathing is calm and even, which is the one thing that gives away that he's actually asleep rather than sick, although he's definitely a little bit less warm than he usually is.
the way ryuu tugs him back up isn't enough to wake him just yet, but it is enough for him to lean in, his head conveniently resting on ryuu's shoulder, glasses knocked slightly askew. ]
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unless he has been fighting it this whole time, and ryuu hadn't known about it. it's enough to get his lips press into a downturn. he releases the breath he's been holding, testing how he can shift without jostling him too much. ]
Tenn...
[ he can really only think of one thing that'd wreck someone's stamina that fast. ]
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that, and the chroma exhaustion, but ryuu has probably figured that out by now.
but the answer to that - just a little bit. tenn's never really been a very heavy sleeper anyway, so when ryuu shifts, he's bound to move a little bit along with ryuu, but it's really when ryuu calls his name that pulls any kind of bigger reaction: a half asleep sound and tenn shifting to bury his face into the warmth of ryuu's shoulder, remarkably catlike. ]
no subject
he's a little torn. for one, tenn's sleeping face is so angelic it actually makes his chest feel all weak on the inside. and he's always wanted tenn to lean on him this way, but maybe, well... maybe the circumstances put a spin on it he can't entirely be happy about. for him, chroma isn't too difficult a thing to adapt to, but for someone like tenn?
ryuu's gaze flicks from his tired face resting against his shoulder down to his hand, pale, pretty fingers loose by his leg. his heart starts to pound a little.
should he chance it? ]
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sometimes the limit manifests in an almost-perfectly timed fall into an idolish7 member's arms while trying to make his way to their concert hall, but rarely does it manifest like this--
yeah, tenn's definitely blissfully unaware of the way ryuu is having a kind of mini-crisis right now, even with his head half tucked into the crook of ryuu's neck and hand hanging slack enough that the end of his his fingers are brushing gently against the top of the couch, near enough to ryuu's leg.
another minute shift, like tenn's trying his best to curl up into the most comfortable, the warmest position he can find without it being too awkward.
it's enough for his hand to bump against ryuu's leg, unintentionally.
(unlike most of his calculated fanservice)
(go on. it's there.) ]
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concern pushes up through nervousness, making him swallow whatever apprehension he feels. they're generating a little chroma like this, but it won't be enough to make a difference, he's sure. so very gently, almost having to hold his breath to do so, ryuu shifts his arm closest to tenn and reaches for his hand.
his fingertips crawl and push themselves between the divots of his knuckles, and with a careful flex, he laces them together. ]
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but then,
(ryuu's hand is warm.)
the warmth is what makes tenn curl his fingers around where ryuu's laced their fingers together, squeezing lightly, and it's also the warmth that causes him to stir just a little bit, blinking up at ryuu through half-closed eyes. ]
... Ryuu?
[ it's soft, tired,
vulnerable
but to his credit, tenn doesn't immediately spring away from where he currently is, and he hasn't let go of ryuu's hand either, so. ]
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he can give everything he has, but if the other person finds it difficult to accept, shouldn't he find a way to measure himself? (like tenn always tells him.)
only the sound of his name gets him flickering a glance down, somewhat guilty.
he doesn't let go either, though. ]
...sorry.
[ he really can't get his heart to calm. ]
Does that feel okay?
[ the question is soft and meandering, wondering if tenn will even verbally answer. ]
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not this time, though. where their hands meet, tenn's slender fingers twined with ryuu's larger ones, is a warm spark, a pleasant feeling that probably is from the chroma, the energy being shared, enough that tenn unconsciously seeks out more of it, his grip tightening just minutely, probably enough for ryuu to feel it, the position of their hands shifting slightly.
tenn blinks the sleep out of his eyes, once, twice, just enough to look up at ryuu and catch the guilt painted over his features.
(....... maybe it's the drowsiness, but tenn doesn't quite know how to feel at that look.) ]
...... Did I fall asleep?
[ another rhetorical question, not quite acknowledging ryuu's question or apology - because tenn has always been good at deflecting.
but the way tenn still clutches at ryuu, doesn't make a move to disentangle himself from ryuu's hold on the couch, is telling. it's fine. they can stay like this. ]
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his fingers tighten instead, a little squeeze as if he's trying to punctuate something he hasn't actually said yet. it's not as though it's tenn being bright-eyed and sharp-tongued, telling him to practice restraint.
it's all different. ]
You did. Tenn... it's probably your chroma, isn't it?
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[ silence, for a moment, and then grudgingly, tenn nods, a brief admission of defeat, with his shoulders slumped and curling halfheartedly into the warmth of ryuu's body because it's the only thing that's kind of keeping him more than conscious right now. ]
... Maybe. [ no use in going for an outright denial or trying to play it off like it's less serious than ryuu makes it out to be. ryuu has no restraint sometimes when he comes to his affection and his concern, but it's one of the things that makes him so ryuu that tenn can't find it in himself for deny or deflect.
........ oh well. ] I may have underestimated how much I needed.
[ somewhere, buried inside that statement, is some kind of an apology. some kind.
he still doesn't let go. ]
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tenn pressing in close, even as an afterthought to the weakness ryuu knows he doesn't want to show, makes ryuu finally smile again. the tilt of it is so obvious - an unspoken answer to his unspoken apology. ]
That's easy to lose track of, if you're not thinking about it!
[ it's so tempting to tip the balance just like that, to touch more and offer up everything he has, but ryuu stays as he is, chin lowering. ]
If you don't mind staying like this a while, you should start to feel better soon.
[ clearly, ryuu doesn't mind. ]
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[ and there it is, tenn's usual sparkling wit fired back almost seamlessly pretty much the main sign that he's feeling--
well, better, even if he's not at 100% just yet. these kind of things don't happen immediately, after all.
absently, like it's a kind of afterthought, tenn shifts his hand again - a light, barely there squeeze. ]
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[ though it's obvious it's just because he's naturally affectionate and would find it easy enough to give the shirt right off his back if need be, he only seems to realize how it sounds after the fact. quickly, his grip tightens in reassurance, as if that wit managed to shoot right through his poor heart.
so, business as usual. ]
Only because it's something your body needs here! Just like food, or water!
[ or tea and cake! ]
...speaking of! Were you still hungry?