[ he definitely didn't cheap out, and kogami appreciates him for that. whatever's risen between them earlier seems to have been quelled, for the moment. it settles into something cautiously peaceful even if kogami knows it's never truly gone, crackling between them like an oncoming storm churning in the horizon.
kogami recognises the hurt but doesn't understand it, even if he feels himself yearning for something he doesn't remember having. has this always been the way ryuu smiled? it feels like -- something, and kogami removes his shoes by the door neatly, trying not to think too hard on it. ]
No, beer is fine. [ kogami reassures him with a faint smile. this too is familiar in ways he can't name, and his fingers itch to draw him close. no. he barely knows him. ] Let me help with dinner.
[ never truly gone... is a double edged sword. it makes these moments that were once intimate and placating now heavy and listless. but ryuu would rather hold fiercely to something he loves than let it go. even now, he feels that way. if it's not truly gone, it always has the chance of reappearing - a blade of sunlight to pierce through the burgeoning storm. illuminating, warm... he snaps a beer from the pack and slides it across the counter with a smile. ]
Are you sure? You're the guest, you know.
[ like they're strangers, even when he's burning the sight of kogami's smile into his memory. ]
I wasn't sure whether I ought to make curry or stir fry. They're easy to eat, and you can make big batches.
[ now the reasoning for his abundance of groceries is clear: he's ready to cook for anyone who might need a warm, comforting meal in a situation like this.
[ kogami learns more about this man with ease, like pieces of a puzzle sliding together to form something he's brushed up against before, coalescing into a familiar shape that he should recognise, but yet remains infuriatingly out of reach.
he senses the weight of the moment, but the meaning of it eludes him like silver smoke through clenched fingers. it sounds wrong, guest, like a tie that doesn't fit right and presses up oddly against the throat. the beer goes down easy, loosens the knot. ]
I'm sure. Seems wrong to make you do all the work.
[ even if he seems accustomed to it, of opening up his heart and home to all who need it. ] What about stir fry? It's your hometown specialty, isn't it?
[ it is a puzzle with edges already set into place - an incomplete but promising foundation upon which something beautiful can be built. missing pieces only intensity the allure of what's already set into place. with his own beer set to the side, he begins setting out the ingredients for kogami's suggested dish. it may be a brand new kitchen, but he's at home in it all the same. cutting board, knife, vegetables...
gravity must bring that question around a second time, and ryuu looks less surprised by the observation than he ought to. he's always been a poor liar. it feels disingenuous to act as though kogami's incredible perceptions are so startling. ]
It is! You... can hear my accent, can't you?
[ layered deep beneath his standardized one. he exhales, fond. ]
I'm afraid there's no bitter melon in a place like this, so it's not totally authentic. But I think we can make do. How are your knife skills?
[ now it's kogami's turn to be surprised; he's sure ryuu is smart, but he hasn't actually expected him to zero in on that detail immediately. but there's something off about that reaction, like ryuu's expecting this particular observation, like it's not news to him. ]
You don't seem surprised by it. [ he spares a few moments to watch him at work, that broad-shouldered figure cutting such a familiar figure that a thought occurs, unbidden: the sight of a shirtless ryuu in a sun-dappled kitchen, cutting fruit in a kitchen that seems to be his own but isn't.
......strange.
he blinks, before shaking it off and coming around. the perils of a hyperactive imagination, or maybe it's something in the beer. or -- ] My knife skills are passable, may I?
When I'm comfortable, I don't realize I'm using it as much.
[ his brows pinch, empathizing with the surprise rather than being amused by it. any other time, he may have wanted to laugh at being the one to surprise kogami, of all people. right now, it feels as though he has an advantage, but not necessarily a kind one. knowledge had such an extraordinary ability to smooth back the veil of doubt, but if that same knowledge had no where to go on its logical track... that kind of blind spot must feel like a curse, a burden.
he has to wonder.
movement is good leverage. a task is even moreso - he turns the knife safely in his palm and offers it to him, handle first. ]
Sure. [ he's unable to help a glance aside, gold on gunmetal. ] If you get tired of it, we can switch.
[ their fingers brush when kogami takes the knife from him. it's the briefest of touches, but it's electric, a spark to the heart, to all things that remain shrouded from him. the briefest flicker of surprise flickers in gunmetal grey eyes, fixed on honey gold. it makes no sense; kogami's just met him today. ]
This is going to sound really strange.
[ kogami says quietly, carefully, the bits and pieces coming together -- to what end? there is no logical end for this, nothing to reasonably explain why things feel so familiar and yet not. his thumb absently traces over the smooth, polished wood of the handle. he doesn't break his gaze, but he carefully sets the knife aside. can't have this conversation holding a knife, especially when they've only just met. ]
[ fingers freezing, his pulse races. it hadn't crossed his mind, what touch was capable of here. it burns away the propriety held up like a flimsy shield across his heart, sends light and heat seeping through the poor welds. and yet, even as the knife, the catalyst, recedes from the picture, placed aside and leaving ryuu face to face with kogami, he finds... he doesn't want to pull his hands away any more than that. seeing the other man grapple with it brings him no joy, even though he'd been prepared to work around it.
hesitating, he knows that kogami will sense the lie in his throat before he's even breathed a word of it out. his gift is too formidable to not snap his jaws around the shape of something he desires to know, ready to snap into the marrow of it. ]
...it's not strange.
[ ryuu is calm, but closer to succumbing to the tremble in his chest than he was before. ]
If I told you that you did know me, you would think that makes sense, right?
[ kogami says at last, feeling like at least one small thing's slotted into place. despite that, he frowns, trying to make sense of a puzzle that still has so many key pieces missing. the light illuminates, but kogami doesn't yet grasp when he's being shown. he's searching that honest, handsome face, the beautiful gold eyes he feels like he knows but doesn't. it aches, strangely, like he's missing something he doesn't know he's lost.
(still, it explains so much.)
ryuu is outwardly calm, and kogami is curious about the shape of him, focused and intent, as if he could divine answers just from looking at him. the knife is forgotten for the moment, fingers twitching faintly, briefly, as if chasing the ghost of his touch. he takes a small step closer, as if he could see through that thin veneer that keeps ryuu together. and maybe he does, a little. ]
[ that affirmation makes a flutter of bravery rise in his throat, propelled upwards by a hopeful heart. he can't wish it away, he can't bear to try and forget. kogami doesn't need the knife to carry with him an air of sharpness. catching the flash of movement in his fingers, he hesitates, but not for long. ]
We met in a similar place. This isn't the first time we've been brought somewhere like this... I remember everything, but not everyone does.
[ as he'd found out. ]
I'm not sure how. [ or why. yet - ] ...Kogami. Can I do something selfish?
[ what a terrible, awful feeling to endure, then -- to be forgotten while the people around you are none the wiser. at last, kogami can put a name to the elusivein his eyes, the set of his mouth. ryuu is a brave man, then, to suffer his company even when kogami doesn't remember.
he blinks when ryuu makes his request, for the first time not quite knowing what to expect. ]
Yes, of course. [ because ryuu seems like he's never really done a selfish thing in his life. ] What is it?
[ kogami agrees so readily that something clutches fast to his soul. surely, it must be greed - not for anything that would tempt a normal man, corporeal and impermanent, but for a glimpse into a heart he has no right to know anymore. that he does know it is what makes kogami impossible to shy back from, no matter how much he thinks he should.
even when he wears a mantle of diamonds and dignity on stage, he is honest about his one desire: don't forget who I am. ]
...sorry, if this is uncomfortable for you.
[ that's what he thinks to say as he moves to take kogami's hand, lacing their fingers in a quiet gesture that is calm in the same way the detonation of a bomb is - that silent inhalation before the particles erupt into light and heat. manna rushes in a sudden heave of synchrony, blowing the door open on what he's been feeling this whole time: closeness and intimacy not befitting of strangers, confusion, heartache, indecision.
ryuu isn't always the best at expressing himself in words.
with this, he lays himself bare for the sake of truth, even when the force of everything held inside of him is bordering on torrential. ]
You -- [ it's... it's something. it's profound and intense, the surge and swell of overwhelming emotion and the unfurling euphoria of synchrony. kogami feels greedy, like an intruder despite ryuu's request -- when he bends to the impossible longing for a glimpse into his heart.
don't forget who I am.
it rings and echoes, filling the newly-forged connection, a precursor to the raging storm kogami suddenly feels, disrupting his own forced-serenity like a pebble in a dark lake, rippling in response to the disturbance and stirring the beast that sleeps. kogami feels, fights not to reel from the richness of ryuu's emotion, the roiling heat of intimacy, the pain of his heartache and confusion. kogami's grip tightens on his when he realises that he isn't lying, the heart of him laid bare for kogami's eyes only.
he looks back at him, his own feelings of surprise, wonder, uncertainty, and the strong desire to know eases right back through their connection, where the world boils down to just ryuu. he looks at him like he knows him, because he must, to feel something as powerful as this.
before he can stop himself, he can't help but draw closer, pulling ryuu into him and giving into his greed, pressing the man flush against him in an embrace. their hands remain joined, and kogami's hand comes to curl around the back of his neck. ]
[ after glimpsing the awe in his eyes, being pulled in so close startles him enough to shake his breath in his lungs. he inhales and it's sharp with an emotion he can't even begin to name - he doesn't expect it of kogami, not least of all because the man owes him nothing for his remembrance. it thuds through him like a pulse, fills up the spaces in his aching chest. feeling a little hazy now, ryuu finally exhales into the embrace only he knows so well. an arm winds around him and he tucks his nose into his collar... even his scent is the same. ]
Sorry... [ again, muffled into him for lack of anything else to say. ] Just for a second.
[ though he knows this overflowing of his emotions is temporary, a needed release before an inevitable start over, they're all without pretense. he cared this much with a heart so ordinary. anything kogami desires to know, he'll give him like this, thinking that this is the only way he knows how to make sense of it.
sniffling quietly, he squeezes his hand. he's still so warm. ]
[ kogami murmurs when ryuu presses closer, the heat and warmth of his body, the potent, intoxicating rush of synchrony unceasing, flowing between them so openly. he feels the embrace become just a touch more intimate, and he can't help his own feelings of the matter, wonder, curiosity, warmth, and the slow rousing of an affection that awakens in the shape of another thing yet unfamiliar, but known.
no matter the world, kogami falls for him the same.
he feels him sniffle, sweet and soft, and he gives him a brief squeeze. ] You fit just right.
[ he shifts now, nudges him to look at him properly. this time, kogami's expression is softer, his fingers grasping his chin as ryuu's feelings overflow, flooding through him like light, like warmth, like everything kogami's never had. ]
[ a laugh tremors through his throat, short and quiet. in response to that low observation, he tightens his arms in a way that suggests he'd never let go again, if he had the choice not to. as if physicality is a boundary they've already conquered. he can't help it - the raw honesty of those words in all their simplicity hits home. but ryuu can't confirm it for him, all he can do is let him explore the chambers of his heart through synchrony, listening to the echoes of familiarity that were once there. kogami is... profoundly sharp. if anyone could pierce through what was obscured to reach the truth beneath, it would be him.
he believes that. as they part, ryuu meets his gaze with tear-bright eyes. as much as he'd wanted to hold them back, the tilt of his chin causes him to blink them out in silent streaks. not wanting to be untethered from him, ryuu's hand settles at his waist. ]
[ something about the raw, undeniable honesty in his words makes him swallow hard. this man, this person who should, for all intents and purposes, be a stranger to him, is baring his soul to him -- and he can feel it, the earnestness, the connection that flows richly between them. he can sense more than he should, as if they've connected before, as if this is the most natural thing in the world.
he takes a breath, reaching out to gently wipe those silver streaks of tears with calloused thumbs. how strange it is to have someone cry because of him, especially someone as handsome, as striking as he is, with golden eyes he's known so intimately a lifetime ago.
perhaps it's recklessness, perhaps it's sheer instinct, perhaps it's something a part of him had wanted to do for a long time, but kogami's hand comes to cup his jaw as he leans in to press a soft kiss to the side of his mouth. gentle, tentative. it feels right, like his heart had been yearning for this all along. ]
...I'm here.
[ he says softly. he cannot promise more; he might break them all, and ryuu deserves better. ]
[ a kiss as soft and halting as that somehow pounds through the hollows of his body with a heat that grips to all the spaces ryuu remembers kogami occupying. the nerves of his teeth, the tract of his throat. in his belly, behind his eyes, curled beneath his sternum where all the signs of life are. strong lungs, a steady heart. his body feels... occupied by him, like he belongs there. he'd invited him, after all. tooth and nail, steel and smoke. knowing he was dangerous and accepting him anyway.
yet it's with a quiet laugh that ryuu pulls himself away from his lips. instead, his hand rises to cover kogami's where it lays over his jaw. he presses his damp, hot cheek into his palm, lulling. he shakes his head, half a nuzzle. ]
It's okay. I don't need anymore than that.
[ it would be too unfair of him. he already can't stop the rush of manna from betraying what his body remembers about this man. but he can make the decision to not take it too far. ]
[ kogami has never met a man like him before, ridiculously handsome and soft, the vast well of his emotions pressing up against his own thoughts as the synchrony deepens between them inexplicably. he can feel all of it, the heartache and the yearning, the strength and that unconditional acceptance.
kogami's heart skips a beat, and for a few moments he regrets not knowing him. the other version of him in another world had been a lucky bastard, he supposes. he presses his forehead to his, reluctant to be too far away when his proximity is almost like a drug, gentle but intoxicating, drawing him to him like a magnet. ]
[ that singular touch to the angle of his brow both soothes him and makes his chest feel weak. so much that it longs to give in at the slightest push against it, the emotions that break across him like waves. the regret, the disconnect, the reaching across the void where familiarity would be. lulling against him, ryuu allows kogami to brush against the shape of what's being held so firmly in his heart. not something ryuu means to keep away from him, but something ryuu wouldn't force on him.
the words that follow in the wake of it make him smile, sniffling back his tears. he's had his moment of weakness for the past, and now in front of him is - a future, still. ]
Of course. You can... feel that, right?
[ that shared space brimming with magic, with synchrony, waiting to pour over. ]
[ he can feel all of it, the surging warmth, ryuu's tender, soft willingness, the way he keeps himself in check -- he can sense all of it just beyond his own psyche, across the unfamiliar space. the emotions are roiling, and he senses just how close ryuu wants to be.
it's kogami that reaches across now, a hand gently cradling the back of his head as he gently moves to kiss him again. this time it's assuring, warm; even if kogami doesn't know what ryuu knows, there is a future for them. it is shared magic that takes his breath away, the overwhelming feeling of connecting with another that makes his grip tighten just a little. ]
...Yes. I can feel you. Everything that you're feeling --
[ he is unused to having another occupy his space, the warmth and acceptance that ryuu brings with him. he kisses that smile, leans into those tears, and takes them all for himself. ]
[ it's so hard to turn him away. his constitution isn't a fairweather thing, but his recognition of this man undoes him, letting the light of his advance scatter across the angles of his body. he remembers every moment. every touch, every word. a second kiss sends his heart pounding in his chest, simple and raw. ryuu should tread carefully through this physicality, the conduit through which those emotions reach. that nothingness is tumultuous and frustrating, but the way kogami reaches for him, hands and thoughts in tandem, brushes away the hesitation.
breathing against him, ryuu finally eases into kogami's grip. a man of his strength could have easily forced his way in, but he didn't. he never has - ryuu has just always been drawn to him. eyes fluttering shut, ryuu parts his lips to finally accept him in unconditionally, soothing at his need to know.
ryuu's arms lower to let him in closer, reaching to wrap around his waist and pull him in.
[ kogami can feel him yield, when he eases into his grip willingly, and something important loosens in his chest, something kogami hasn't yet noticed until it dissipates. he can feel the heat of ryuu's emotions, warm and overwhelming, pressing up against his own pysche with a gentleness that he allows in.
how strange, how very strange. he deepens the kiss again, gently pinning him to his kitchen counter, exploring his mouth as if they would reveal the secrets hidden from him. ryuu is familiar and new both, and he breathes between his lips, wondering if ryuu had said it or if it's simply his imagination -- ]
[ he couldn't have imagined it. even hoping for it felt wrong. to be let in so soon, the rush of his emotions swell into the spaces kogami affords him. this time, it's not confusion or sorrow, but the sensation of comfort, protection - that of trust. all the best parts of him that remember how kogami had made him feel even in the throes of the blood moon flood through the spaces where he once fit. chest, arms, heart. if it's still that way, he has no idea. but given the chance, he can't help but reach out with both hands and all of his soul to grasp it.
hearing him speak an answer aloud to something he hadn't actually voiced makes ryuu tremble. one arm loops around the small of his and the other pushes up between them. thoughtfully, ryuu parts from kogami with glazed eyes and wet lips... his fingertips draw gently over the divot in his chest, searching for his heartbeat. soft yet searing, honesty unfettered. ]
I'm not sure how yet.
[ all he has is his manna, the depth of it reflected in the next kiss he slides into, capturing his lips and laving his way in with a deep, slow stroke of tongue.
he kisses him with the relief of someone who thought their lover gone forever. or worse. ]
[ the depth of ryuu's courage and his sweet willingness is startling. he can practically feel the other man warm up despite that little tremble -- this other man, who should, for all intents and purposes, be a stranger to him but isn't, who makes him ache like he's known him all his life. manna surges between them, putting truth to ryuu's words, his sentiment.
kogami shallows hard as he looks down at those fingertips over his chest, as if ryuu can divine just how his heart is pounding just from that. kogami's face gives nothing away, but the heat in gunmetal grey eyes speaks volumes.
the softness of his lips is endlessly tempting, and he eagerly meets him halfway for another taste and another, his tongue slipping up against his smoothly. they fit perfectly together, a truth that still baffles him. he can taste the relief, the yearning, and through their connection he can feel himself mirroring it despite the spaces in his memory.
how strange, how wonderful, and his breath catches as his hands come now to cup his face, his gaze sharp and searching, single-minded and intense. ]
You're overwhelming. I can feel everything you're feeling.
[ and kogami's own roiling emotion in response to his own, muted and controlled but very much present. his acceptance, his wonder, his curiosity, and the unmistakable embers of familiar want. ]
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kogami recognises the hurt but doesn't understand it, even if he feels himself yearning for something he doesn't remember having. has this always been the way ryuu smiled? it feels like -- something, and kogami removes his shoes by the door neatly, trying not to think too hard on it. ]
No, beer is fine. [ kogami reassures him with a faint smile. this too is familiar in ways he can't name, and his fingers itch to draw him close. no. he barely knows him. ] Let me help with dinner.
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Are you sure? You're the guest, you know.
[ like they're strangers, even when he's burning the sight of kogami's smile into his memory. ]
I wasn't sure whether I ought to make curry or stir fry. They're easy to eat, and you can make big batches.
[ now the reasoning for his abundance of groceries is clear: he's ready to cook for anyone who might need a warm, comforting meal in a situation like this.
as always, his door is open. ]
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he senses the weight of the moment, but the meaning of it eludes him like silver smoke through clenched fingers. it sounds wrong, guest, like a tie that doesn't fit right and presses up oddly against the throat. the beer goes down easy, loosens the knot. ]
I'm sure. Seems wrong to make you do all the work.
[ even if he seems accustomed to it, of opening up his heart and home to all who need it. ] What about stir fry? It's your hometown specialty, isn't it?
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gravity must bring that question around a second time, and ryuu looks less surprised by the observation than he ought to. he's always been a poor liar. it feels disingenuous to act as though kogami's incredible perceptions are so startling. ]
It is! You... can hear my accent, can't you?
[ layered deep beneath his standardized one. he exhales, fond. ]
I'm afraid there's no bitter melon in a place like this, so it's not totally authentic. But I think we can make do. How are your knife skills?
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[ now it's kogami's turn to be surprised; he's sure ryuu is smart, but he hasn't actually expected him to zero in on that detail immediately. but there's something off about that reaction, like ryuu's expecting this particular observation, like it's not news to him. ]
You don't seem surprised by it. [ he spares a few moments to watch him at work, that broad-shouldered figure cutting such a familiar figure that a thought occurs, unbidden: the sight of a shirtless ryuu in a sun-dappled kitchen, cutting fruit in a kitchen that seems to be his own but isn't.
......strange.
he blinks, before shaking it off and coming around. the perils of a hyperactive imagination, or maybe it's something in the beer. or -- ] My knife skills are passable, may I?
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[ his brows pinch, empathizing with the surprise rather than being amused by it. any other time, he may have wanted to laugh at being the one to surprise kogami, of all people. right now, it feels as though he has an advantage, but not necessarily a kind one. knowledge had such an extraordinary ability to smooth back the veil of doubt, but if that same knowledge had no where to go on its logical track... that kind of blind spot must feel like a curse, a burden.
he has to wonder.
movement is good leverage. a task is even moreso - he turns the knife safely in his palm and offers it to him, handle first. ]
Sure. [ he's unable to help a glance aside, gold on gunmetal. ] If you get tired of it, we can switch.
no subject
This is going to sound really strange.
[ kogami says quietly, carefully, the bits and pieces coming together -- to what end? there is no logical end for this, nothing to reasonably explain why things feel so familiar and yet not. his thumb absently traces over the smooth, polished wood of the handle. he doesn't break his gaze, but he carefully sets the knife aside. can't have this conversation holding a knife, especially when they've only just met. ]
But I feel like I know you.
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hesitating, he knows that kogami will sense the lie in his throat before he's even breathed a word of it out. his gift is too formidable to not snap his jaws around the shape of something he desires to know, ready to snap into the marrow of it. ]
...it's not strange.
[ ryuu is calm, but closer to succumbing to the tremble in his chest than he was before. ]
If I told you that you did know me, you would think that makes sense, right?
[ even though it shouldn't. ]
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[ kogami says at last, feeling like at least one small thing's slotted into place. despite that, he frowns, trying to make sense of a puzzle that still has so many key pieces missing. the light illuminates, but kogami doesn't yet grasp when he's being shown. he's searching that honest, handsome face, the beautiful gold eyes he feels like he knows but doesn't. it aches, strangely, like he's missing something he doesn't know he's lost.
(still, it explains so much.)
ryuu is outwardly calm, and kogami is curious about the shape of him, focused and intent, as if he could divine answers just from looking at him. the knife is forgotten for the moment, fingers twitching faintly, briefly, as if chasing the ghost of his touch. he takes a small step closer, as if he could see through that thin veneer that keeps ryuu together. and maybe he does, a little. ]
......how?
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We met in a similar place. This isn't the first time we've been brought somewhere like this... I remember everything, but not everyone does.
[ as he'd found out. ]
I'm not sure how. [ or why. yet - ] ...Kogami. Can I do something selfish?
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he blinks when ryuu makes his request, for the first time not quite knowing what to expect. ]
Yes, of course. [ because ryuu seems like he's never really done a selfish thing in his life. ] What is it?
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even when he wears a mantle of diamonds and dignity on stage, he is honest about his one desire: don't forget who I am. ]
...sorry, if this is uncomfortable for you.
[ that's what he thinks to say as he moves to take kogami's hand, lacing their fingers in a quiet gesture that is calm in the same way the detonation of a bomb is - that silent inhalation before the particles erupt into light and heat. manna rushes in a sudden heave of synchrony, blowing the door open on what he's been feeling this whole time: closeness and intimacy not befitting of strangers, confusion, heartache, indecision.
ryuu isn't always the best at expressing himself in words.
with this, he lays himself bare for the sake of truth, even when the force of everything held inside of him is bordering on torrential. ]
no subject
don't forget who I am.
it rings and echoes, filling the newly-forged connection, a precursor to the raging storm kogami suddenly feels, disrupting his own forced-serenity like a pebble in a dark lake, rippling in response to the disturbance and stirring the beast that sleeps. kogami feels, fights not to reel from the richness of ryuu's emotion, the roiling heat of intimacy, the pain of his heartache and confusion. kogami's grip tightens on his when he realises that he isn't lying, the heart of him laid bare for kogami's eyes only.
he looks back at him, his own feelings of surprise, wonder, uncertainty, and the strong desire to know eases right back through their connection, where the world boils down to just ryuu. he looks at him like he knows him, because he must, to feel something as powerful as this.
before he can stop himself, he can't help but draw closer, pulling ryuu into him and giving into his greed, pressing the man flush against him in an embrace. their hands remain joined, and kogami's hand comes to curl around the back of his neck. ]
no subject
Sorry... [ again, muffled into him for lack of anything else to say. ] Just for a second.
[ though he knows this overflowing of his emotions is temporary, a needed release before an inevitable start over, they're all without pretense. he cared this much with a heart so ordinary. anything kogami desires to know, he'll give him like this, thinking that this is the only way he knows how to make sense of it.
sniffling quietly, he squeezes his hand. he's still so warm. ]
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[ kogami murmurs when ryuu presses closer, the heat and warmth of his body, the potent, intoxicating rush of synchrony unceasing, flowing between them so openly. he feels the embrace become just a touch more intimate, and he can't help his own feelings of the matter, wonder, curiosity, warmth, and the slow rousing of an affection that awakens in the shape of another thing yet unfamiliar, but known.
no matter the world, kogami falls for him the same.
he feels him sniffle, sweet and soft, and he gives him a brief squeeze. ] You fit just right.
[ he shifts now, nudges him to look at him properly. this time, kogami's expression is softer, his fingers grasping his chin as ryuu's feelings overflow, flooding through him like light, like warmth, like everything kogami's never had. ]
We had something special, didn't we?
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[ a laugh tremors through his throat, short and quiet. in response to that low observation, he tightens his arms in a way that suggests he'd never let go again, if he had the choice not to. as if physicality is a boundary they've already conquered. he can't help it - the raw honesty of those words in all their simplicity hits home. but ryuu can't confirm it for him, all he can do is let him explore the chambers of his heart through synchrony, listening to the echoes of familiarity that were once there. kogami is... profoundly sharp. if anyone could pierce through what was obscured to reach the truth beneath, it would be him.
he believes that. as they part, ryuu meets his gaze with tear-bright eyes. as much as he'd wanted to hold them back, the tilt of his chin causes him to blink them out in silent streaks. not wanting to be untethered from him, ryuu's hand settles at his waist. ]
It felt special. Everyday did. I -
[ his expression sets. ]
...really missed you.
no subject
he takes a breath, reaching out to gently wipe those silver streaks of tears with calloused thumbs. how strange it is to have someone cry because of him, especially someone as handsome, as striking as he is, with golden eyes he's known so intimately a lifetime ago.
perhaps it's recklessness, perhaps it's sheer instinct, perhaps it's something a part of him had wanted to do for a long time, but kogami's hand comes to cup his jaw as he leans in to press a soft kiss to the side of his mouth. gentle, tentative. it feels right, like his heart had been yearning for this all along. ]
...I'm here.
[ he says softly. he cannot promise more; he might break them all, and ryuu deserves better. ]
You're really...
[ you do such strange things to me. ]
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yet it's with a quiet laugh that ryuu pulls himself away from his lips. instead, his hand rises to cover kogami's where it lays over his jaw. he presses his damp, hot cheek into his palm, lulling. he shakes his head, half a nuzzle. ]
It's okay. I don't need anymore than that.
[ it would be too unfair of him. he already can't stop the rush of manna from betraying what his body remembers about this man. but he can make the decision to not take it too far. ]
I'm glad you're here.
[ that's what matters. ]
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kogami's heart skips a beat, and for a few moments he regrets not knowing him. the other version of him in another world had been a lucky bastard, he supposes. he presses his forehead to his, reluctant to be too far away when his proximity is almost like a drug, gentle but intoxicating, drawing him to him like a magnet. ]
I want to know more of you. Will you show me?
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the words that follow in the wake of it make him smile, sniffling back his tears. he's had his moment of weakness for the past, and now in front of him is - a future, still. ]
Of course. You can... feel that, right?
[ that shared space brimming with magic, with synchrony, waiting to pour over. ]
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it's kogami that reaches across now, a hand gently cradling the back of his head as he gently moves to kiss him again. this time it's assuring, warm; even if kogami doesn't know what ryuu knows, there is a future for them. it is shared magic that takes his breath away, the overwhelming feeling of connecting with another that makes his grip tighten just a little. ]
...Yes. I can feel you. Everything that you're feeling --
[ he is unused to having another occupy his space, the warmth and acceptance that ryuu brings with him. he kisses that smile, leans into those tears, and takes them all for himself. ]
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breathing against him, ryuu finally eases into kogami's grip. a man of his strength could have easily forced his way in, but he didn't. he never has - ryuu has just always been drawn to him. eyes fluttering shut, ryuu parts his lips to finally accept him in unconditionally, soothing at his need to know.
ryuu's arms lower to let him in closer, reaching to wrap around his waist and pull him in.
There's so much that I have to tell you. ]
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how strange, how very strange. he deepens the kiss again, gently pinning him to his kitchen counter, exploring his mouth as if they would reveal the secrets hidden from him. ryuu is familiar and new both, and he breathes between his lips, wondering if ryuu had said it or if it's simply his imagination -- ]
Then tell me. Show me.
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hearing him speak an answer aloud to something he hadn't actually voiced makes ryuu tremble. one arm loops around the small of his and the other pushes up between them. thoughtfully, ryuu parts from kogami with glazed eyes and wet lips... his fingertips draw gently over the divot in his chest, searching for his heartbeat. soft yet searing, honesty unfettered. ]
I'm not sure how yet.
[ all he has is his manna, the depth of it reflected in the next kiss he slides into, capturing his lips and laving his way in with a deep, slow stroke of tongue.
he kisses him with the relief of someone who thought their lover gone forever. or worse. ]
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kogami shallows hard as he looks down at those fingertips over his chest, as if ryuu can divine just how his heart is pounding just from that. kogami's face gives nothing away, but the heat in gunmetal grey eyes speaks volumes.
the softness of his lips is endlessly tempting, and he eagerly meets him halfway for another taste and another, his tongue slipping up against his smoothly. they fit perfectly together, a truth that still baffles him. he can taste the relief, the yearning, and through their connection he can feel himself mirroring it despite the spaces in his memory.
how strange, how wonderful, and his breath catches as his hands come now to cup his face, his gaze sharp and searching, single-minded and intense. ]
You're overwhelming. I can feel everything you're feeling.
[ and kogami's own roiling emotion in response to his own, muted and controlled but very much present. his acceptance, his wonder, his curiosity, and the unmistakable embers of familiar want. ]
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